Federal Fever
by Melanie Carter
Summary: Bella Black has it all. But, all too soon, her world is thrown into disarray. Soon, Bella's whole existance is slipping through her fingers. Will she ever get it back? And does it really matter anyway with the arrival of the green-eyed lawyer? AH, WIP
1. Chapter 1: The Last Appointment

**A/N: Drum roll, please! INTRODUCING _FEDERAL FEVER, _THE LATEST STORY BY MELANIE CARTER! **

**Okay, okay, enough with the pomp, but this _is_ my latest story and I hope you would like to read it *cute 'please read it' grin* It's my first... yeah, just checking it is my first... it's my first AH fic and it's been... interesting. Of course, I've had great fun (naturally) and it's been a hoot (as usual) but it's certainly been a learning curve. Which I hope you enjoy! So, please... enjoy and I'll see YOU at the end! **

**_FEDERAL FEVER_ by Melanie Carter**

**Chapter 1: The Last Appointment**

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

"URGH!"

I slapped the alarm clock and curled back into the covers.

A pair of warm arms closed around me and two soft lips pressed onto my shoulder.

"Time to get up," he whispered in my ear.

"Mhmm," I agreed, pushing back against him under the covers. His head dropped back to the pillow for a few minutes. I forced my eyes to flutter open. 6:07. It really was time to get up.

I took a deep breath and turned in his arms to face him. He opened his eyes at my movement and smiled lazily. I smiled back and planted a gently kiss on his mouth.

Then, I readied myself for a second before pulling myself upright, sweeping a hand through my hair as I breathed deep. I felt a soft nudge of protest from my rounded stomach.

I glanced over my shoulder to look at my half-asleep husband. I hated that word. No way could he be compared to something so mundane. He was watching me through half-closed eyelids and he reached out to stroke the small of my back just as I liked it.

"My Bella," he whispered adoringly.

"My Jacob."

I held his gaze for a moment longer before I smiled to myself in pleasure. What had I done to deserve him? I threw back the covers and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. It didn't seem possible that he was mine. He was far too good for someone like me.

I stretched lazily, bringing my arm down to rub my stomach briefly.

"Good morning, little baby," I cooed softly to my lap. I went to the wardrobe and threw on my old flannel robe. Jacob and I had always wanted children – little physical representations of our love for one another. Now I was actually pregnant I was beside myself with joy. My own little nudger to cherish forever.

I padded through the house quietly with my bare feet, heading for the kitchen. Though I was off work with my belly, it didn't mean Jake could slow down. In fact, he was busier than ever with his business – a mechanics shop in Central Seattle. He had always loved building cars when he was a teenager and it was something he naturally carried through to his adult life. Now, with a month left to the due date, he was working harder than ever to rake in those few extra cents.

Not that my pregnancy had caught us unaware. God, our baby was a long time coming. We had started trying seriously after a year of marriage when I was twenty-one. Perfect age for motherhood you would think. But, nooo! I was some genetic dead end. Our plans flat lined as soon as they were beginning to take shape. But we didn't give up. We carried on for three years, praying for a result. I was so desperate for my baby. I used to dream about him and everything. Finally, we gave up and enlisted help. We blew all our savings on IVF treatment and got lucky. And I pretty glad we did otherwise that would've been a sweet fifteen-thousand dollars down the pooper.

I waited for the eggs to fry, stroking my belly absentmindedly. My hand was gently nudged. Eggs were his favourite. Or hers. I didn't know the sex. But I felt sure my nudger was a boy. He had always appeared that way in my dreams…

The frying eggs began to pop and sizzled so I flipped them in the pan. I set the table with crockery and morning drinks – coffee of Jake and OJ for me. This body was strictly caffeine free. The bread popped in the toaster just as Jacob entered the kitchen. His hair was still slightly wet from the shower and he shook his head like a dog, showering me with tiny drops of water.

"Hey!" I cried, lifting an arm to shield myself.

"Don't you like my wolf impression?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Was that what that was?"

I laughed at him and he pulled me into his warm arms. He leant his face on my head and took a deep breath.

"Hmm, you smell pretty," he murmured gently.

"So does breakfast," I whispered back. He pulled away from me slightly and laughed.

"No, breakfast smells tasty. You just smell of hot wife."

He kissed my forehead quickly and loped off to take his seat.

"I _think_ that's a compliment," I joked as I served him his food. I wonder if he realised 'hot wife' scent was really just strawberry shampoo. I took my own seat and looked at the glistening eggs in front of me. I couldn't get enough of them. Ever since the start of my pregnancy I had craved them. I would eat them every day – sometimes twice. It wasn't the most pleasant of cravings sometimes…

"Last appointment today, right?" Jake asked through a mouthful of food.

"Hmm? Oh yeah! Hopefully, Dr Cullen will tell me I'm good to go."

"Woman, you're always good to go."

I laughed at him. He scooped the last mouthful of eggs into his mouth and took a swig of coffee.

"Sorry I can't be there," he said as he went to clear his plate.

"Honestly, Jake, I'll be fine! It's no problem." It was a problem. My last check-up before the birth of his child and he couldn't be there? It wasn't fair. But I wouldn't tell him that. He worked far too hard for me and baby. What was that thing I thought earlier about deserving him…?

"Well, phone me if you need me for anything, okay?" Jacob had his coat on now and grabbed his car keys from the hook.

"Okaaaaay," I drew out the like a rebellious teenager.

"That's my girl," he winked at me before leaning down to kiss me warmly. Then he was gone, calling to me once more before slamming the front door shut. Now, I was alone. The house was strangely quiet without Jake and somehow colder. Like he had taken the sun with him when he left. It made me sad. I glanced at the clock on the wall and realised I should start to get ready to go out.

"Come on, nudger," I said to my stomach. "We've got a hot doctor to see."

**XXX**

"Mrs Black? Doctor Cullen will see you now," the petite, dark-haired receptionist told me. She looked about sixteen and was pretty as fuck. Her name tag told me she was called Bree. I smiled tightly at _Bree_ and made my way to the consultation room belly first. That was one of the downsides of pregnancy – my emotions were totally erratic. I could go from absolutely loving a person to wanting to savagely kill them in mere seconds. Normally, that person was my poor Jakey and I was forever apologising to him. Not that he minded. He understood why I did it and continued to look at me like I was the prize, not him.

I opened the door to the room and was greeted by one of the most handsome men of all time.

"Bella," Carlisle greeted me warmly as he rose from his chair. "How are you doing?"

Carlisle Cullen had been my doctor since I had first moved to Forks. He was forever saving me from myself so when he had told me he was moving to a bigger hospital in Seattle when I was just eighteen I had committed myself to making the three hour journey to his surgery whenever I was ill. Or injured. And that was a lot of the time. Of course, it had got easier when I moved to Seattle – first for college and then when I married Jacob. Now, my favorite doctor was just eight blocks away at all times.

"Pretty well, seeing my stomach is like its own little island," I said answering his question. He moved from behind his desk to help me sit on one of the plush blue chairs.

"No pain? No problems of any kind?" he asked further.

"None. Sometimes I forget I'm pregnant at all!" A sharp kick in my side opposed that last bit. I sucked in a small gasp at the discomfort.

"Baby kicking?"

"Oh yes!" Another jab poked my side. "Hey, wanna feel?"

Carlisle had felt my belly numerous times over the past eight months but never as my friend. He smiled and I realised he was thinking this too.

"I'd love to," he told me simply and came to kneel beside me. I took his hand and placed it on the perpetual jabbing. I watched his eyes grow wider and his blue eyes sparkled.

"This one's a fighter," he assured me. "I'm surprised Baby hasn't broken a rib!"

I watched his face as we both laughed and studied his overwhelming beauty for the millionth time. With his face right next to mine it was hard not to stare. He had pale blond hair - almost platinum in colour – that highlighted his pale skin perfectly. His angular features gave him the look of a serious man but his shining blue eyes deceived him. This all added up to a one handsome looking man. He was an ace doctor but, also, one of my dearest friends. In all the time I had known him he hadn't changed a bit and I know he saw me as his daughter, of sorts. He'd make some lucky woman, somewhere, very happy one day.

"I'm tougher than that," I told him and he went back to his desk.

"So, are you ready for the big day?" he asked.

"As I'll ever be," I replied. Would I ever really be ready to be a mom? Yes. I wanted to be a mother more than anything. "I've got everything prepared at least."

"That's all you can do for now," Carlisle said. "And keep practising you breathing. It really does work."

Right. Not that I didn't trust Carlisle with my life, but I doubted taking a deep breath would help me when I was trying to push a bowling ball out of my verjango. Uh-huh, yeah, a nice breath of fresh air would help out there. But I just nodded in agreement. We had had the argument too many times in the past to bother counting.

"Now, Bella," Carlisle carried on. "This is your last chance. Do you want to know the sex of the baby?"

"Aw, come on, Carlisle! You know the answer!"

"All right! All right!" he held up his hands in mock surrender. "I don't want to get on the wrong side of an angry, pregnant lady!"

"Who - me?"

In all seriousness, I didn't want to know. Carlisle and I joked about it but I was adamant that the first time I would know whether my baby was a boy or a girl I would be flat on my back with my legs in the air, sweating like a pig. I longed for the surprise. It added to my excitement that I would only find out after I had given birth, like the anticipation of unwrapping an unusually large box at Christmas. If I knew beforehand it would ruin it.

Also, part of me didn't want to give up the beautiful, dark-skinned boy from my dreams. If it was a girl - and I honestly wouldn't mind if it was a girl - I would have to let go of the tiny Jacob from my mind. I selfishly didn't want to.

"Okay, my dear. Just a few more checks to make sure everything's going to plan and you're free to go," Carlisle said gesturing toward the examination table. Oh gee, I loved this part. The part where my close friend got to poke around in my downstairs area. It really added a shine to my day. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the ever present embarrassment.

"Whatever you say, doctor," I mumbled, unfastening the top of my grey denim jeans. I looked at Carlisle bleakly for a moment and he smiled apologetically.

"Just one more time, Bells," he promised.

Then, I dropped my pants.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, that was just a little introductory chapter, which I hope you enjoyed. I don't want to give the game away but if you're a B&E lover, don't let that little Jacob thing over there put you off... I will cater for everyone, don't you worry yourselves ;)**

**By the way, if you're reading this and thinking it seems a little familiar, the first few chapters have already been published on Twilighted. But, that doens't mean you can go skip over there and read ahead. Oh no, no, no - we're gonna stick it out together guys!**

**Thank you all for reading and I hope you check back for the next chapter sometime in the next week!**

**Mel x**


	2. Chapter 2: Raging Hormones

**A/N: Here we are at chapter two. Thanks y'all for reading - I appreciate it greatly :) **

**Just a warning with this chapter, it does contain some naughty times between Jacob and Bella. If you are not a fan of Jacob or find this uncomfortable, please feel free to skip this part - the beginning of this section will be underlined. I feel I may have scarred sherryola something terrible - I'm SO sorry!**

**Chapter 2: Raging Hormones**

I looked at myself in the long, free-standing mirror one last time. I marvelled at the way the stretchy fabric of the finely-woven camel dress pulled over my bump. It was a pretty dress. Simple, by pretty all the same. Its soft brown colour perfectly accentuated the pale skin of my legs and exposed décolletage. I had paired it with very low, deep red velvet heels that beautifully matched the brown and red beads that hung from my neck. I swept my curled hair over one shoulder and my outfit was complete. The outfit that would introduce me as Bella Black, Landscape Designer.

For tonight was Forks High School Class of 2006 Reunion. I couldn't wait to get there. Not. A reunion meant a party. Dancing... too much like prom. But I was determined to go. I had a weird urge to show off my swollen stomach, my sparkling left hand and my flashy business card. I was twenty-five and my life was set. That girl that was average all the way through school had turned out to have a pretty kick ass life. Though I did wonder what some people would say – Jessica, Lauren, Tyler... when they found out my new husband was two years my junior. Not that I cared – he was my life now.

"Jake, is the taxi here yet?" I called to him as I ran my fingers through my hair for what I promised myself would be the final time.

"Just got here, but whoa!" Jacob came into the room and eyed me carefully. "I've got a mind not to let you go."

I laughed and forced my hands away from my hair. If it wasn't right now it would never be.

"You sure I can't come?" he asked, walking over to me and pulling me against him.

"No, it would be... wrong. Like, crashing a party or something," I stuttered. Because, in truth? I would _love_ for Jake to come. To have him with me all night – it's why I married him, so he would never leave my side again. But, rules were rules; Forks High School students only.

"Alright," he agreed begrudgingly. "But, I know it's just because you want to keep me away from the pale faces."

He winked and I snorted a laugh.

"Yeah. _That's_ what it is."

I hit him playfully on the arm and he squeezed me tighter to him to kiss me. He lips were hot and soft and I felt my hands creep to his short, black hair. The cab driver honked his horn impatiently outside and I pulled away with a sigh. He ran a hand through my hair, dislodging it from my shoulder.

"Hurry back to me."

"Always do."

Then, I grabbed my purse and headed out the door.

**XXX**

Forks High School looked exactly the same. True, the coving had been repainted a vibrant green and a new metal fence had been erected but apart from that it felt like I was seventeen again. All I would need now was my ancient Chevy and the picture would be perfect.

But, I wasn't seventeen and the Chevy died years ago. As I remembered this a swarm of butterflies filled my stomach and nerves set in. As the taxi driver drove through the familiar car park it was panic that shook me. I actually had to do this now. Meet people I had long said goodbye to; chat and schmooze and exhume success. All without embarrassing myself in some other way. It was going to be impossible.

I paid the driver the extortionate fee and wriggled myself and my hefty paunch from the car. I quickly pulled at the hem of my dress. Maybe it was a little _too_ revealing… Just as I was contemplating calling my taxi again and getting my sorry ass back home, I heard a loud gasp from behind me.

"Oh my_ God_! Bella?"

I stiffened and slowly turned on my heels to face the direction the voice had come from. Immediately, a camera flashed in my face and I blinked a few times as the bright light blinded me.

"Okay."

"Look at you! I don't _believe_ it!" the voice carried on, oblivious of my discomfort. The voice was familiar but I couldn't quite place it. Like that face in photos that you never quite remember…I held my stomach reflexively as I swayed on my feet slightly, waiting for the camera's flash to disappear from my eyes.

When it did I was greeted with a sight that brought an instant smile to my face. In front of me was a pair of excited, dark eyes shielded by cute, black-rimmed glasses. The glossy, black frames blended seamlessly with the woman's sleek, black bob.

"Angela?" I marvelled. I wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to greet people I hadn't seen for six years, so I just stood gawping at her mindlessly.

"Oooooooh!" she screeched in a high pitch squeal. Then she threw her arms wide and flung them around me, screeching all the time. She held me tight against her, surprisingly strong for someone so slight. She broke free and giggled some more. Our embrace was short but nice. In truth, I had missed Angela. She had been one of my best friends and it had broken my heart when she moved to New York for college. She was most like me – quiet and mindful – but so much… _nicer_. She was always there and so, so selfless.

"Come, come, come!" she exclaimed, dragging me into the building suddenly. I gasped as I was jolted forward. Um, hello? Had she taken no notice to the large protrusion in between my hips? I was sure I would be in labour by the end of the evening if she continued to haul me around this way.

"I'll just mark you off on the guest list then we can catch up."

Angela strode off further into the building leaving me stranded in the corridor. While she got her list, I took the time to look around me. God, it was so weird being here. It was sort of like I remembered it but… smaller. This made no sense because I was still the same size as I was when I was eighteen. But, I guess it was because this place wasn't my life anymore. In my senior year my whole world had revolved around these corridors – my friends, my schoolwork, my boyfriend… But now I knew there was so much more to the world. I guess, in some metaphorical way, I had grown a lot since graduation.

I smiled politely at people I vaguely recognised as they walked past me but no one stopped to talk. Mainly they just stared at my belly. Oh come on! I couldn't be the only one with kids! Angela still wasn't back and I contemplated going home for the second time when the staring got too much to bare. I didn't want their attention! Had I lost my mind earlier? But before I could carry the thought further, Angela came round the corner, clipboard in hand. Several clipboards in fact,

"Here we are," she announced, dumping the pile on the sideboard. I walked over to her and marvelled at the paper sheets gripped to them. People's names, cost, contacts, allergies, health and safety, table arrangements, parking permits, caterers…

"You organised this?" I asked, slightly in awe. I would never have though to do anything like this. Maybe I was slightly complacent in my little niche. Or, maybe, it was because I had never had any urge to see any of my high school friends after graduation. Jake, Charlie and my mom were everything to me. For seven years it felt like I had thought of nothing else – I never realised it would be different for anyone else.

"There you are!" Angela exclaimed proudly, failing to answer my question. "Bella Swan."

She marked the paper by my name and I scowled slightly.

"That should be Bella Black," I corrected her.

"I did wonder if you had a diamond to match that belly…" she chided jokingly. I didn't know whether to be pleased or horrified. "Who's this lucky fella then?"

"Jacob," I smiled at the thought of him back at home.

"Didn't he live down at La Push?" she asked. Wow, she had a good memory.

"He lives with me now," I said softly – slyly. Angela laughed and took my arm.

"Oh, I've missed you, _Mrs Black_!" she emphasised my name and giggled once more. Why did I ever let us drift apart all those years ago? I had missed her too. With Angela clinging to my side suddenly the rest of the evening didn't seem quite so daunting. At least I had someone I could laugh with if embarrassed myself.

"Come on, I've got _loads_ of people to reintroduce you to!" Angela squealed again and tugged at my arm. I took a breath. Nerves fluttered in my belly once more. Then, I was gently patted from the inside, like Baby was comforting me. I smiled and wondered if he could tell I was anxious. It soothed me, knowing there was some here I could depend on tonight.

I let Angela drag me into the main hall. It was dark with a tacky light show from the equally tacky DJ. Probably a former classmate of mine who thought themselves a dab hand at it. There were tables draped in blue and white tablecloths hugging the edge of the room leaving the centre free for a makeshift dance floor. Towering about the tables and tacked to the walls were garlands of blue and yellow balloons, which reminded me vaguely of a giant flower.

"It looks great in here, Ang!" I called to the figure in front of me hoping my voice had travelled past the heavy _bomp, bomp, bomp_ of the music's baseline.

"Thank you!" I heard her call back, though it wasn't without its difficulties. "You wouldn't _believe_ the problems we had with it!"

I was tempted to ask her more and seem interested but I couldn't be bothered to fight with the music so I stayed silent as she dragged me along. Then, we reached the dance floor. I stopped abruptly.

"Oh no, no, no," I insisted trying to pull my arm free. Angela turned to face me. She looked kinda confused by the hold up. I looked pointedly at the dance floor and then raised an eyebrow at her. I watched her face as she realised what the problem was. She laughed at me. Loudly.

"Don't worry, Bella - we're not stopping. We just need to get to the other side."

She laughed once more and I twisted my mouth in annoyance. It wasn't _that_ funny. Beside, just because I wasn't dancing didn't mean I couldn't embarrass myself some other way crossing the smooth, concrete surface. I felt my cheeks burn and I seriously regretted coming. I really, _really_ couldn't risk falling in my condition. Angela just didn't understand. It was a miracle that I had stayed upright for the past eight and a half months. That had been my biggest fear – falling down and killing my baby. I faulted once more as Angela tugged at my arm.

"Come _on_, Bella!" she insisted as though she was scolding a stubborn child. I took a tiny tentative step. This was going to be slow progress whether Angela liked it or not. Thankfully then, I was saved by a voice behind me.

"Bella?"

"We were just coming to find you, Mike!" Angela projected over my shoulder. Mike? Mike Newton? Wow, I guess I should have expected him to be here. I turned to look at him and started slightly in shock.

High-School-Mike had been relatively short with blonde, gelled hair and child-like, dull features. High-School-Reunion-Mike was totally different. High-School-Reunion-Mike was _hot_!

First of all, he seemed to have grown several inches in the past seven years and taken up manual labour which had turned his body into a mass of hard metal muscle. His babyish features had turned into something more rugged but had kept their essential boyish gorgeousness. Just the shape of his now chiselled jaw made my mouth drop open slightly. His sand coloured hair was swept of his face in a casual style. It hurt just to look at him.

"Hello, M-mike," I stuttered foolishly. I felt myself blush and bowed my head immediately to hide my flushed face. Mike seemed unaware of my inane stammering, thankfully.

"Look at you!" he gestured at me with a flourish. "Wow. Pregnant! How things have changed, eh?"

"Yeah," I felt myself blush even deeper. The three of us made our way over to a table and Mike held the chair out for me. How kind. I felt a squeeze in my pelvis. God, Bella, get a grip! You're _married_! Mike cast his eyes over me briefly with a small smile on his lips and the squeeze got harder.

"So, uh, who's the lucky man?"

"Excuse me?"

Panic jolted in my stomach subduing any amorous feelings that may have been lingering there. Could he hear the hammering of my turned-on heart or something? I wouldn't be surprised if he could. It was bouncing around my chest like a bunny on speed.

"Your husband? I'm sorry, it's just you're wearing a wedding band..." Mike trailed off, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. God, that colour made him look fuckable. I bet he turned that colour when he worked out for long periods of time too. What I would give to be his personal trainer. I could certainly think of a few cardio exercises for him to do... Jeesh! I had to get in control of my mind – and my pants.

"Oh right!" I couldn't believe I had thought he meant anything else. "Jacob Black. My husband that is. He used to live down at the reservation."

"Ah, I remember him, I think. Tall guy, right?" Mike asked. It was true that my husband was freakishly tall. When he was sixteen there had been no stopping him. I could've sworn he was taller everything I saw him. Now, he was definitely closer to seven foot than he was to six.

"Yeah, that's him," I laughed. My heart fluttered as I thought of him.

"And there was I hoping it was Tyler," Mike joked. He leant forward on the table conspiratorially. "You two always were the perfect couple. If I'm honest I was a little jealous."

I heard Angela laugh. It was only when she broke my concentration did I realise that I had been unconsciously leaning toward Mike because I straightened up to look at her.

"Really, Mike? No one guessed," she laughed.

"Oh hush, Angela. It's not my fault I fancied Bella!" I felt myself blush once more as I remembered the horrific months that Mike had followed me around for. It had been creepy. It made my skin crawl just to remember. "Who would not be tempted by such a beautiful creation?"

I looked up suddenly to catch his eye. He was staring straight at me with deep intent. His voice had been heavy – layered with multiple meanings – and I felt my breath fly out of me as my heart began pounding again. The corners of his mouth pulled up and I unashamedly bit my lip. Angela missed all this as she cackled to herself so we held each other's gaze for unnecessary amount of time. There was something about his man that made me want him. Badly.

I fidget from inside me made me come to my senses. I dropped my gaze instantly and cleared my throat. It wasn't the man it was the baby. After nine long months my emotions were shot. I didn't want Mike – how could I when I knew what was waiting for me at home?

I got up without a word leaving Mike and Angela alone to chat and made my way to the make shift bar along the back wall. The only reason I had felt the way I had was because of my haywire emotions. If this reunion had been two weeks later I would have had nothing to worry about. If this reunion had been two weeks later I would have been in the delivery room...

I ordered a sparkling water and lost myself in a dream about two weeks time. Everything that surrounded me now seemed futile when I thought of what I would have in just fourteen short days. The family that I had craved for for so long. Nothing could take it away from me. The rest of the evening passed in a blur of half-hearted conversations with old, lost friends as I floated along on cloud nine with thoughts only of Jacob and my little nudger.

**XXX**

I arrived back at home a little after one in the morning. I had left the reunion at ten knowing how long it would take me to get back to Seattle. I was exhausted but there was one thing I wanted to do before I went to sleep. My run in with Mike Newton had been flitting around in the back of my mind all night and the urges I had wouldn't dissolve.

I slipped my shoes off at the door and padded along in stocking feet to the living room. Jacob was still up watching some flop of a movie. From the pasty skin of the actors on screen I guessed it was about vampires. Urgh, only my husband would be found watching this kind of trash. And he seemed enthralled. He was mesmerised by the screen that filled the darkened room with a flickering blue light. So much so that I couldn't be sure he even knew I was there.

I decided to make my presence known by walking further into the room and sitting on the sofa beside him. I pulled my knees up underneath me and rested my cheek on his shoulder to watch the screen. Instinctively, he lifted his arm and wrapped it tightly around me. I focused on the movie for a minute trying to deduce the story line. It really didn't seem very good. It was vampire crap – I had been right – but there also seemed to be werewolves. It seemed like totally tripe.

After a few minutes I gave up and twisted round in Jacob's arms. I brought my right hand up to touch his cheek and tenderly kissed the opposite one. His eyes stayed glued to the screen oblivious. I kissed him again, trailing my lips down to his strong jaw line and planted numerous light pecks along the length of it.

Still, Jake continued to stare at the TV so I tried another tactic. I removed my hand from his cheek and slowly dragged it down his chest. I let my fingertips trail lower, circling gently around his navel before resting at the top of his baggy jeans. I watched as his eyes flicked away from the screen briefly to my hand. I casually flipped open the top of his fly. Another glance at my hand. I undid the next button. Another glance. I slowly pulled at the zip, the quiet sound of metal being pulled apart finally grabbing his whole attention.

"Bella..."

His voice was almost a whisper. Now his trouser were open I slipped my hand down inside his boxers. He exhaled softly at my touch and he stirred beneath my fingers. I moved my hand up the length of him as he pushed his hips slightly toward me.

He moved suddenly to face me and crushed his lips to mine. His kiss was deep and urgent like he couldn't get close enough to me. I continued to flex and move my curled hand in his pants and he moaned into my mouth. The sound sent electric shocks coursing through my body.

I removed my hand swiftly and began tugging at his jeans. I shimmied them down past his ass and he sent about on my dress. He pulled up his face away from mine and ran his hands up the length of my legs to catch the hem. In one swift movement he pulled it up over my hips. He leant down and planted a kiss on each of my inner thighs. My stomach gave a squeeze as my brain registered the proximity between his mouth and my you-kno.

Then, he rolled my dress up further to expose my swollen belly. He gently covered it with tiny kisses that were softer than butterfly wings. God, this man was killing me. I pushed him away slightly with my knee and heaved myself upright. Then, I grabbed the top of his shirt, flicking open the buttons and placing my lips on his again. I pushed against him, forcing him back and continued to pull apart his top to reveal his smooth, dark chest.

Once all the buttons were undone he pulled his arms free while I yanked my dress the rest of the way over my head. Then, I quickly peeled off my tights and lost the underwear. When I turned back to Jake I realised he had done the same thing. I took a moment to marvel at his lean, beautiful body. He was gorgeous to me – more than anything I could ever wish for. I fervently kissed him once more and he pulled me toward him gently.

Electric shocks flew up my spine as I felt his naked skin against mine. I always reacted like this. Sometime, I forgot to breathe I was so consumed by him. I ached for him now and pushed him back against the sofa to swing my leg over him at the same time to sit astride him. There really was no other way. He couldn't lie on top of me with the bump and, besides, I preferred it this way the whore that I was. Pregnancy sex was difficult but it was achievable.

My breath flew out of me in a quick gust as I felt him between my legs. Hard and hot right where I needed him. Jacob always seemed to feel a few degrees warmer than me, almost hot under my touch. He said it was just my imagination but I knew it was a Jacob thing. I moved my hips automatically around him and he groaned softly. His own hips bucked then too and I leant further into him.

We quickly got into a smooth rhythm, moving with each other fluidly. Each thrust brought me closer to the edge and my breath began to whip out of me in little gasps. Jacob's eyes never left mine as he too gasped and groaned. He brought his hands up as our speed increased and rested them on my belly. My little nudger wriggled joyfully at the attention. In fact, he was going pretty ballistic in there. He obviously liked it when Mommy was happy...

A groan slipped through my lips as Jacob bucked more violently. I could tell he was waiting for me so I leant forward to place my hands on his chest as he continued to caress my stomach. I groaned louder as I approached climax and Jake moaned loudly. The fire escaped from my groin, filling my body with euphoria that Jake and I rode all the way to town. My name spilled from his mouth in an animalistic grunt. I collapsed onto him taking care to mind my tummy, totally exhausted. I curled up to him and he kissed my head softly. I drew tiny circles on his bare chest with my fingertips watching it rise and fall as he panted quickly.

I moved my free hand to my stomach as my nudger squirmed happily. A blissful smile spread across my face and I drifted off to sleep holding onto the two people I loved more than anything.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and much as I enjoyed writing it! I love to play with the humans sometimes and having them all grown up was especially fun! **

**And, in case I offended anyone, the pregnancy sex is for love. My little family are in love and deserve to express it in a deep, meaningful way :)**

**Laters loves,**

**Mel x**


	3. Chapter 3: Birth

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read so far! **

**Chapter 3: Birth**

I woke up early the next day. The curtains were still drawn but the pale light that stole around their edges told me it was somewhere near dawn. Jacob and I were still on the sofa, entwined with each other from the night before. We were both still naked but Jacob must have woken up during the night as the blanket from the back of the sofa was now loosely pulled around us. I looked up at him then and was surprised to find him watching me with soft eyes.

"Hi," I breathed with a small smile on my lips. He smiled back at me, a lazy, totally content smile. I thought back to last night. I had jumped his bones pretty good...

"Hi."

I leant up to kiss him warmly and he brought his free hand up to braid his fingers through my sleep-matted hair. I trailed my own hand over his naked stomach, the flat planes making my fingertips tingle. I pulled away and he stroked my cheek tenderly.

"Want some coffee?" I asked. We would oversleep if we drifted back off now. He smiled once more.

"That'd be nice, please," he replied quietly. When I had first fallen pregnant Jacob wouldn't let me do anything for him. He didn't think I should put myself through any unnecessary 'stress'. I didn't agree. Not that I wanted to be under stress I just didn't see it that way. I wanted to look after my husband. He worked too hard to then have to run the house as well. His job was to provide for our blossoming family and protect us and it was my job to care for him and make him happy. He had been reluctant to accept this but I won in the end. I always did.

I detangled myself from him and stood up straight, stretching my limbs casually. I felt an odd twinge at the base of my spine and winced automatically.

"You okay, baby?" Jacob asked, worry creeping across his face.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I assured him though I grabbed my lower back to support it all the same. Odd, the pain was gone. Must have just been from spending the night cooped up on the sofa.

I made a detour on my way to the kitchen to grab my robe from the bedroom, but I was soon measuring out coffee beans for the machine.

I heard Jake move from the living room to the bathroom and soon enough the sound of rushing water from the shower drifted down the stairs. The niggling little twinge in my back returned then but much stronger this time. It seemed to have spread and spasmed through the whole of my lower back.

Now it was a lot less centralised I could re-exam the pain. It was not so much a twinge as a squeeze. A very uncomfortable, _painful_ squeeze. The water for the coffee was almost boiling now but I couldn't move my hands for pain. The squeeze intensified and wrapped around my sides tightly. My breath rushed out of me and my hands shot out to grasp the counter top in front of me as I struggled to stay upright.

The pain was not on my skin, like a burn or a scratch would be, but much further down, buried deep in my body as though my very core was being ripped apart. I took a step back to steady myself and instantly froze.

As I had put my foot down the noise of rippling water had reached my ears. I looked down slowly, terrified. The boiling water shot out of the coffee machine then, piercing the silence on the room. It filled the cup noisily and churned to a stop, but still I didn't move.

My eyes stayed glued to the floor and the mess beneath me. The pale tiles were covered in a bloody, dirty liquid that seeped away from directly beneath me. It was thin but nothing like water. No, it was too thick – almost like mucus. The pain in my back and sides had muted and I took in a deep shaking breath. Then, I let it all back out again.

"JACOOOOOB!" I bellowed as loud as I could; panic suddenly making my heart hammer in my chest. I spun on the spot, not quite knowing what to do. Should I sit still? Go to the bed? No, I had the silk sheets out...

I needed the phone. That was right. I needed Carlisle. I took a step toward the phone on the opposite counter but jolted to a stop immediately as I was reminded of the wetness coating my legs. It was pretty nasty.

Jacob whirled around the doorway then with nothing but a towel thrown around his mid-drift.

"What the..." he began, staring at the scene in front of him with bewilderment.

"I think I'm going into labour," I breathed desperately at him. More panic welled inside me but this time there was something new. It flickered at the edge of my heart, tickling it softly. Excitement.

My baby was finally coming. After four years he would finally be mine. Just a few hours now stood in the way of me and my complete happiness. I touched my belly numbly at the thought. Yes, my baby was coming two week early, but I didn't care. I wasn't ready, not expecting it but I didn't give a damn. _My baby was coming!_

"I'll call the doctor!" Jake half-shouted as he raced from the room. He looked scared. I scanned the room quickly and laughed out loud. He had a right to be afraid – it looked like a scene from a horror movie in here. I waddled over to the sink carefully and rinsed the dish cloth with warm water. Bending awkwardly, I ran the wet rag roughly over my legs to clean them slightly. No need to scare Jacob anymore.

I chuckled again to myself as I deposited the cloth in the bin. Should I clean the floor now? It didn't seem like a very good idea but I like my floor tiles and I didn't know if amniotic fluid stained...

"Carlisle said to go to the hospital and to take these," Jake announced as he appeared at the door again. In his arms he had about half a dozen towels of all different colours. He looked down at them as he spoke his face twisted into confusion and down-right fear. "I don't even know what they're for..."

I walked over to him and reached for one of the towels.

"Warm towels?" I asked, sceptically. He nodded meekly and his lower lip trembled. It looked as though he was about to cry.

"Oh, Jacob," I soothed, reaching for his face. He dropped the towels defeated and let his arms hang loosely by his side. I brought his head down and hugged it against my chest. Oh dear, and I thought Jacob was tough. He was obviously just a marshmallow at heart. I kissed the top of his head and lifted his face.

"Come on," I told him. "I think we should get in the car. It's time to have a baby."

His face was still sad but he smiled at the last part. I took his hand and squeezed it excitedly and suddenly Jake's face lit up. I smiled widely back at him at our shared excitement. He took a step toward the door when I remembered the pile at our feet.

"One sec," I told him as I slowly lowered my body and snatched a towel from the floor. When I look back up, Jacob was watching me curiously.

"For me to sit on," I explained. "No one ever told me childbirth would be this _dirty_!"

He barked a laugh at that and his breathtaking smile reappeared.

"Come on, you. This baby won't wait forever."

Then, he turned and pulled me gently out the door. Suddenly, I wasn't afraid anymore of what was going to happen. I felt strong – confident. I squeezed Jake's fingers and abruptly wished my labour was already over. I itched to be there, after my child's birth, and already have him in my arms.

Because this moment didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was the outcome. Jacob and me and baby together in our little piece of forever.

**XXX**

"There's still a few more hours to go, Bella. Just relax."

Carlisle snapped off the rubber gloves and dropped them in a metal bin. Fifteen hours I had been here. _Fifteen!_ I was exhausted already and here was Carlisle telling me I had even longer to wait? I couldn't believe it. I leaned back against the pillows and groaned at his words. Who knew having a baby could take this _long_?

It was hot in the hospital room, too hot, and the moisture had begun to gather on my forehead and dampen my hair.

"Have a little patience, my dear," Carlisle soothed as he moved over to me. He placed a long hand on my forehead comfortingly and I sighed blissfully. Compared to my burning head his hand felt ice cold like he had been working in the morgue for a little too long.

"D'you think Jake'll be back soon?" I slurred my words together lazily, waiting for the next contraction. They came about every half hour. Every half hour for almost sixteen hours. I was shattered.

"Oh, I should think he'll be back soon," Carlisle smiled. Jake had gone back home to grab the essentials – toothbrush, pyjamas – which we had forgotten in our initial excitement. "But, please, try and relax, Bella. Exhaustion is bad for the baby."

I nodded slightly, letting my eyelids fall shut. Carlisle walked away from the bed and busied himself with something on the other side of the room. I didn't bother to open my eyes to see what it was. I started to be sucked slowly into unconsciousness, soothed by Carlisle's quiet movements. But just as I was on the edge of sleep, I became aware of a faint clench in my belly.

My eyes snapped open immediately and I looked for the clock on the wall. Nineteen minutes since my last contraction.

"Carlisle?"

He turned to look at me and I counted again. I spun the minute hand in my head trying to find the lost time. But, I was cut short, the aching bubble that was building in my stomach suddenly popped and sent a sharp pain scorching through my abdomen.

Carlisle was at my side in a flash and I caught hold of his hand tightly.

"It's okay, Bella, just relaxed. Don't push," he repeated what he had told me the last million times once again, but this time his voice was more elated. Like he was suddenly excited and wide awake. The pain subsided and I squeezed Carlisle's hand in thanks, breathing deep.

"Nineteen minutes. That was an impressive jump."

"So, I didn't count it wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"Nineteen minutes. Not thirty?" Don't act dumb on me now, Doctor. I could hardly breath – full sentences would not be possible.

"That's right – nineteen. Looks like I got it wrong. Two more hours tops, I would say," Carlisle apologised. I exhaled loudly. So it didn't make that much difference. Still ages until show time and the contractions only got worse from here on in. Carlisle still had hold of my hand so I squeezed it gently.

"Thank you."

My words were quiet but full of meaning. Thank you for preparing me. Thank you for staying with me. Thank you for saving me a million times in the last eight years. Thank you for holding my hand. Carlisle nodded with a smile and moved away from the bed. We stayed in silence for a few minutes when the door swung open.

"Jacob!"

My heart race as his face appeared around the door.

"Easy, Bella," Carlisle cautioned. Urgh, stop telling me what to do, Mr I-can't-work-out-how-far-my-patient's-dilated! I was seriously starting to doubt Carlisle's abilities.

"You took a long time!" I scolded Jacob playfully, paying no attention to Carlisle.

"Sorry, I spent some time cleaning up," Jacob explained.

"Oh right," I blushed as I remembered the mess I had made in the kitchen. Poor Jacob for having to clean that up. He noticed my pink cheeks and smiled bleakly. I guess he didn't enjoy it then. He walked over to me then and grasped hold of my hand.

"How long, Carlisle?"

"A couple of hours," I told him before Carlisle could answer. Ha, payback for getting it wrong and telling me what to do. Did no one ever tell him not to piss off a woman in labour?

"Are you the doctor now, or is he?" Jacob responded with an eyebrow raised. I pursed my lips stubbornly and looked at the wall opposite. "Carlisle?"

"Like Bella said: a couple of hours. I suspect its taking so long because Baby is slightly early. But both Mother and child are stable at the moment so there's nothing to worry about," Carlisle informed Jake.

"Thank you, _Doctor_," Jacob replied. He was lucky it was his child I was carrying otherwise I would've told him to get lost. Acting petty with me while I was in labour! Silly boys surrounding me! Let's see him squeeze a bowling ball out of his youwho! I felt my bottom lip jut out in a pout. Jacob laughed and leant forward to kiss it softly.

"Stroppy Bella," he breathed before jutting his own lip out and crossing his eyes. I couldn't help it. I burst into laughter, batting him away playfully with my hands as I shook.

And then I gasped. A contraction slammed into me like a brick wall. I squeezed Jacob's hand hard trying to stay relaxed. That one was definitely more painful.

"Fourteen minutes – wow. Why's this baby suddenly in such a hurry?" Carlisle mused to himself when the contraction was over. Then he turned to us. "I think we should probably get you to a delivery room soon."

"Really?" I gasped. "But, you said..."

"I know – I was wrong."

I heaved myself up and swung my legs round, suddenly ecstatic. My baby was so close I could almost feel him in my arms! Carlisle and Jacob helped me hop down from the bed before I could jump down myself. Carlisle grabbed the wheel chair and eased me into it.

"That's twice now. I think you're losing it, Doc," I joked as he began to push the chair toward the door. Jacob was just in front of us and held the swing door open, his eyes bright. I heard Carlisle suck a breath in through his teeth and Jake laughed.

"I know – it's terrible. For your next baby? Please. Hire a better doctor."

**XXX**

I have never been so happy in my entire life as when I finally gave birth to my baby. Not when I married Jake, not when I found out I was pregnant and not even when I held my baby for the first time. No, I was so happy because finally, FINALLY, after hour upon endless hour the gut-wrenching pain had stopped.

I was floating around on enough morphine by the end to dose up a whole ward seemingly and still begged for more. It felt as though the baby was literally chewing its way out of me.

When those first resonating shrieks had filled the air I could have cried with happiness. There was still a bit of pain, but nothing to what had gone before.

I collapsed back onto the pillow and Jacob leant over to touch his forehead to mine.

"Well done, baby," he sobbed. Was he crying? Pansy – he hadn't done anything! Which made me feel a bit guilty for shouting all those things about him and his sperm a few minutes earlier...

He moved to the side and planted a delicious kiss on my open mouth which I happily returned. I guess I was forgiven at least.

"Bella? Jacob?" Carlisle was suddenly by our side. We broke away from each other to look at him. In his arms was a screaming bundle of woollen blanket. I heard myself gasp as my eyes zeroed in on the package.

My child. My own little Jacob and I was right there in Carlisle's arms. I looked to his face and saw he was smiling so happily back at the baby in his arms that I knew he was going to be handsome. Carlisle looked at me then and his smile got wider.

Suddenly, I needed my child. I heaved myself up quickly with my arms outstretched. Jacob grabbed me by the arm to steady me but I didn't thank him. I just reached out to Carlisle. To my baby.

"Congratulations," Carlisle began at my cue. "It's a beautiful little girl."

My heart broke in two in that instant. Not from sorrow but from too much happiness. Carlisle leant forward and transferred my daughter into my arms. I didn't know that one person could ever experience this much joy and it felt like my heart had shattered from the sheer effort of trying to capacitate it all.

I gazed down spellbound at my daughter's face for the first time. My breath hitched in my throat and I blinked away the tears that were beginning to crowd my eyes. Jacob wrapped his arm around my shoulders and brought his face close to mine so he could see her too. He exhaled quickly and I heard him sniff.

She had a little round face that was all crumpled together as she cried. Her richly tan skin was mashed into horrible disfigurements as she shrieked once more, yet she was still perfect. Little wisps of fine black hair escaped from under the edge of the blanket cocooning her. It didn't matter she was a girl. It didn't matter she wasn't the perfect little boy who had haunted my dreams. Because she was still my baby and she was still my little Jacob.

"She's just like you, Jacob," I whispered, as the tears began to fall.

"Oh, I wouldn't say she was all him," Carlisle said with a slight laugh. "You just wait until she quietens down."

What did he mean by that? I rocked my arms slightly trying to soothe her and gently cooed.

"Shh, it's okay, little baby. Mommy's here now."

Jacob reached forward and touched her cheek delicately. Their skin almost matched. Our daughter's was just a shade lighter.

"Daddy too."

At his touch, she seemed to calm down. She took a big gasp and then smacked her lips together, only making tiny gurgles in the back of her throat. I wondered if she felt as complete as I did at that moment.

I felt her arms and legs wriggle inside the blanket and her eyes squeezed shut even tighter. For a moment, I thought she was about to start crying again. But she didn't. Instead, her eyes flew open and both Jake and I gasped.

She had just revealed to us her most potent weapon. Her eyes were wide set and big – already sparkling. They were of the richest, deepest chocolate brown and framed by a luscious set of fragile eyelashes. She blinked lazily a couple of times and my heart swelled even more.

"See what I mean?" Carlisle laughed. And I did. Although her hair and skin were almost an exact copy of Jacob's, her eyes were mine. It was like looking in a mirror – an exact replica of my eyes set in her tiny face. However, I had never thought my eyes were as powerful as this?

"There's just one slight difference," I voiced my thought aloud.

"What is that?"

"Mine aren't as beautiful," I stated, not in the least upset that it was true.

"You don't see yourself very clearly, do you?" Jacob said in reply. "You're still the prettiest."

I laughed quietly, my gaze never leaving my daughter's face.

"I'm afraid I've got to disagree."

I managed to look away from her somehow to smile at Jake. He smiled back and kissed me quickly.

"So, have you thought of a name yet?" Carlisle moved over to a nurse who was holding a clip board and pen toward him. He began filling in whatever the form was. I creased my brow in thought.

"Actually, I had thought of something," Jake said suddenly. "For if it was a girl."

I turned slightly to look at him and raised my eyebrows. He hadn't spoken to me about this.

"What is it, then?"

He bowed his head quickly as though embarrassed before looking back at me.

"Nessie."

"Nessie? Like the Loch Ness Monster?"

"No, like my Mom. My mother's middle name was Vanessa, so I thought Nessie was kinda short for it and I thought about Sarah for a bit but I thought you'd be unsure and I know Dad and Rebecca still find it hard, so I thought..."

I made sure the baby was tucked securely into the nook of my left arm before reaching up with the right to touch Jake's cheek and stopped him mid-sentence. Of course he would want to name her after his mother. I can't believe I didn't think about this. I hadn't thought he would want to remember her this way.

"It's perfect," I told him and we both turned back to look at the bundle in my arms.

"Nessie," I tried out timidly, hoping it would sound right coming from my mouth. It did. Her name rolled off my tongue effortlessly and I could hear the reverence in my voice. It suited her perfectly – one of a kind. Jacob and I had both said in the past how we wished his mother could be there at the birth and I realised then that this was the most perfect way to honour her. I yawned loudly and began rocking Nessie again gently.

Carlisle had been standing at the bottom of the bed silently watching our touching exchange and took this moment to interrupt.

"I think it's time Mommy got some sleep," he said while moving around to the side of the bed. "Bella, you look exhausted."

He stretched his arms out as a signal to pass him Nessie so I could lie down. I whimpered at the thought of being separated from her.

"Yeah, I've got to go too and make a few calls" Jacob chipped in, stretching out his arms. I looked at him sharply. "I got so excited that I didn't have time to let anyone know we were at the hospital. Dad's probably been trying to get hold of us."

"It's okay, Bella, she'll be right here when you wake up," Carlisle added gently. "But, you need your sleep. Improper rest can increase the risk of post-natal illnesses. You need to let your body recover."

Something about the tone of his voice and the set of his mouth told me this was nonnegotiable. I nodded meekly and let him take Nessie from my arms. Jacob stroked my hair and left the room as I watched Carlisle place Nessie in a cot on the other side of the room.

I numbly slipped down between the sheets and let my eyes fall shut. Come on, Bella, the sooner you sleep the sooner you can see her again. You won't even realise she's gone while you're asleep.

After a few minutes, the room fell silent and I felt my body go limp. A few seconds later I would be unconscious and I knew I fall into a deep, dreamless sle..

* * *

><p><strong>AN: N'awhh, Nessie's here! I hope you enjoyed and check back for the next chapter!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Mel x**


	4. Chapter 4: Dinner Date

**A/N: Thank you to all of you who put me on your alerts - I really appreciate it. For any of you who may have seen _Federal_ on Twilighted(dot)net, you will know it is currently on hiatus there. But, exciting news! Hopefully, it will be be live again within two months. I re-juggled everything so that I can carry on writing it, and I'm pretty psyched. I miss this fic. I miss the green eyed lawyer... Whoops! Did I say too much? **

**See you at the end!**

**Chapter Four: Dinner Date**

It had been too long since I had sat here.

I leant back in my plush, leather chair, coffee mug clasped between both hands and surveyed my office.

It was a little small but I didn't care. I had kitted it out within the first month of working here with a beautiful beech wood desk and matching side table to contrast with the deep blue walls and now it was my own private space. I had it set out all wrong of course, with my desk facing away from the door and toward the large window instead but I figured it's my office and if I like the window I can goddamn look out of it.

I sat there now, gazing out the glass to the street outside. We were only on the third story so you could still see bits of the sidewalk and road. I liked to be able to see outside. It helped with my work. When I had lived in Phoenix, I had never really cared for gardening and the outside but after I moved to Forks I had really started to appreciate it. The perfect mismatch of emeralds and jades that had covered every surface in Forks had inspired me and made me who I was today.

In fact, the majestic shades of green and grey of the forest in Forks had painted my teenage memories. It was everywhere, coating an unearthly glow over my memories and make them even more special. I truly did owe it to that rainy little town.

I remember this one time, Tyler and I went for a walk in the woods one Saturday when we came across the most beautiful meadow in existence. The clearing seemed to suddenly appear among the endless trees and was filled with the most luscious swaying grass and vivid wildflowers. Purples, whites, pinks, yellows... It became Tyler and my special place that we regularly visited and, when the flowers died in the winter, I decided them that I would strive for the rest of my life to recreate its perfection again.

That's how I had ended up here, in truth. My mom had come into contact with Esme while planning a wedding where Esme was a bridesmaid. They had become friends, as everyone who meets my mom does, and Renee convinced her to give me an interview for her landscaping company. I showed her my ideas the following week and she hired me straight away, despite me not having an iota of designing experience.

Now, Esme was like my second mother. She had taken me under her wing and taught me all I need. Forks inspired the dream; Esme was making it come true. I heard the office door open as I continued to day dream and I knew it was her to expect. She came to see me every day and I knew she would have been missing me this past year.

I spun my chair to face her still slightly pensive. I was right. It was her. She stood statuesque at the edge of the room, golden blond loose curls quivering slightly around her pale heart faced face.

"It was so still in here I thought you weren't in," she began and made her way further into the room. She covered the space quickly and passed round my desk to take a seat on the other side, her movement diffusing the smell of her perfume around the room.

"No," I replied. "Just thinking."

"About what?" she asked.

"Whether Nessie would like a garden at home. I never really took an interest in the garden when I was younger and I think she should," I told her.

"You're such a mother!" she teased. I watched the way her skin creased at the corner of her hazel eyes and wondered if she envied me. She had never made it a secret that she wanted children but I guess it was almost too late now. "However, you seem pretty happy to be back at work and not with your daughter..."

She had got me. Because, in truth, I couldn't wait to get back to work. Not that I didn't love spending my days with Nessie but I also loved my job. I had taken the whole year off with Nessie and I was itching to get into it.

"Does that make me a bad mother?" I winced reflexively. Esme laughed, making her curls jiggle up and down.

"Of course not! You just have other hobbies but children!"

I laughed then too. We had often joked about _those_ women. The ones who had children and never returned to work, instead becoming the embodiment of the term 'soccer mom'. I would've hated to be one of those. Not that I have anything against them, it's just not me.

"So, now I'm here," I began after we finished laughing. "Have you actually got any work for me?"

"I have actually!" Esme seemed to produce a folder as if from nowhere and placed it in front of me. "This gentleman called up a couple of weeks ago asking for landscaping for his and his fiancé's house just outside Port Angeles. It's a bit far, but I held it for you because the woman's previous billing address is Forks."

"Ahh, my neck of the woods," I murmured as I reached for the papers. "Anyone you think I might know?"

"I doubt it," Esme sighed. "A Mr Newton and Miss Stanley."

"Shut up!" I shrieked. "As in Mike and Jessica?"

"Well, he gave his name as Michael but I assume..."

"Holy Crow! Holy Crow! They were, like, some of my _best friends_ in high school!" I had jumped up from my chair and now shouting energetically at Esme. "They're getting _married_? Oh my fucking God!"

I spun round with my hands on my head in disbelief, laughing to myself. It was then I noticed half the rest of the floor peering into my office to see what all the commotion was. I was not normally one to draw attention to myself. I stopped laughing instantly and felt my cheeks flush as I unintentionally met some of their gazes. I heard Esme laugh tinkling gently behind me and I settled myself awkwardly back into my seat.

"So, I take it you're in?" Esme asked, still laughing.

"You bet," I agreed, my cheeks still burning. "Sorry about the outburst."

Esme got up and made her way around the desk to place a delicate hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay, my dear, you're allowed to be happy. Now, I'm going to go tell everyone you're okay and haven't lost your mind."

She laughed at herself and made her way to the door. I spun around to face her before she left.

"Esme?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Thank you. I'll phone Mr Newton right away."

She simply laughed again and walked out the door while I turned back to my desk and picked up the receiver.

**XXX**

Mike and I arranged for dinner the following night so I could meet up with him and Jessica and start to discuss ideas with them. I was genuinely excited at the prospect of seeing them both again and slightly marvelled that I had known nothing of their relationship. They had been on and off at school but I never realised that had carried on after graduation. And Mike had said nothing of it at the reunion last year...

I felt a jolt in my stomach as I thought of that night. The closest I had ever come to even thinking of being unfaithful to Jacob. I know it was because I was just about to burst with Nessie but it still made me afraid when I thought of it. It was just an instinctive reaction I guess.

I came home slightly early so I could spend some time with Nessie and relieve our babysitter, Victoria, early as it was a Friday night. Nessie was ten months old now and starting to burble almost coherently. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen with skin so flawless it almost seemed to shimmer in the light. But it was still the eyes that knocked me for sixes every time she looked at me in that curious way of hers.

It was that look she gave me now as she sat on the bed watching me move around the room as I got ready to go out. I was already wearing my long black halter-neck maxi-dress with brown leather gladiators and just needed to pick out some jewellery. I moved over to my jewellery box on the dressing tables and picked up a set of chunky wooden pearls and thick gold rope chain. I whirled dramatically to face Nessie with a pout and purred: "Which do you think?"

She laughed and clapped at Silly Momma and pointed to the beads with a pudgy finger. Excellent taste my daughter had. I told her this as I looped the beads around my neck and she gurgled joyfully. I took a step toward the bed and scooped her up into my arms when I was done. She instantly reached for the beads and began playing with them. Then she looked at me with that burning curiosity in her eyes.

"Beads," I informed her and she nodded once before continuing to push and pull them around the thread. I smiled to myself and carried her with me downstairs to the kitchen where Jake was. He looked up as we entered the room and smiled instantly.

"There's my two favourite girls!" he exclaimed, winking at me. "You about ready to go, Bells?"

"Yeah, if you could just take Nessie I'll grab my bag," I replied. Nessie dropped the beads immediately and reach out for Jake as I passed her to him. She was such a Daddy's girl – she already spent hours with him as he tried to teach her how to build her own car. Not that it was any use anyway. She just giggled and batted his cheek playfully whenever he wanted her to pay attention. So, he would gather her in his arms and growl into her belly making her laugh even more.

I went out to the hallway to get my purse and grabbed a jacket as an afterthought not knowing how cold it would be when I came out of the restaurant. Then, I went to the kitchen to say goodbye.

"Your dinner's in the fridge and Nessie's already had hers," I informed Jake as I dropped a swift kiss on the top of Nessie's head. "Don't let her stay up too late and no TV!"

I looked at him sternly with my eyebrows raised for a moment before my face melted into an easy smile. Yeah right, like that would happen – he always spoilt her when I went out. I kissed Jake quickly and promised him I wouldn't be home late before heading out the door. I was excited to finally be on my way as I strapped myself into the car and took off down the road with a grin.

**XXX**

"Sorry I'm a bit late. I was expected with the Newton reservation?"

I announced myself to the maitre d', who showed me to a little table at the back of the restaurant where Mike was sitting.

"Bella!" he jumped up when he saw me, his arms flung wide.

"Hi," I greeted him as I stepped into his arms and kissed his cheek quickly, "No Jessica?"

"No, unfortunately she's having to do a night shift at the hospital but she's sent along her demands, don't you worry."

I laughed lightly and Mike gestured for me to take a seat. He was wearing a pale blue open-necked shirt tonight which made his turquoise eyes sparkle. How come he couldn't have looked like this in high school?

"Can I get you a drink?" he offered as I shrugged off my jacket. His eyes swept quickly over my outfit before he looked back at my face. A thrill zipped up my spine as I watched his eyes trace my slim curves.

"I'll have a small white wine, please."

"Best just bring the bottle," Mike told the waiter, who scuttled off without a word. I scowled slightly. I didn't really want to drink too much.

"Should we get straight to business?" I asked him sweetly. "What exactly is the project?"

"Well, it's my house but Jess is going to be moving in soon and, rather than redecorate the whole house for both our tastes, we decided we would do the garden together instead." Mike told me. Made sense enough. I voiced this out loud for his benefit.

"Makes sense."

The waiter came back with the bottle of wine then and we sat in silence as he poured us each a glass. Mike thanked him before he began speaking to me again.

"Jess wants something urban with decking and alpine plants," Mike rolled his eyes theatrically. "Does that mean anything to you?"

Jessica and I hadn't always seen eye-to-eye at school but it seemed we would now. This girl knew her stuff. I giggled quickly in delight. There's nothing better that hiring some totally hot carpenters to knock up some rustic bedding borders.

"Perfect sense," I told him with a smile. "You will not believe how excited I am. I seriously cannot believe you guys are getting married!"

"I know, right? It's crazy," Mike sucked in a breath through his teeth.

"I propose a toast," I announce suddenly, grabbing my glass. "To a wonderful marriage and a bitching new garden!"

"I'll drink to that!" Mike cried with a laugh and chinked his glass to mine.

I took a sip and began planning the garden in my head. A low deck nearer the house with two large planters at the edge filled with large Bougainvilleas which gave way to a secret rockery… I picked up the menu and let my eyes flick over the words. Of course, I would have to see the space first but it wouldn't be too difficult to change my initial idea…

This really was nice wine. I still held my glass in my hand and realised I had managed to down the majority of the glass during my reverie. I set the glass down quickly.

"Oops."

I felt myself blush as Mike laughed at me. I must look pretty unprofessional downing my drink. But the man really did know how to pick good wine, what could I say? The waiter arrived then, thankfully, to take our order and the evening passed in a blur.

Mike and I found we had so much to talk about. For the most we discussed the garden and arranged a meeting next week actually at his house so I could take my measurements but the rest was for reminiscing.

We remembered all the silly things – the time we all went surfing at La Push and Mike throwing up at the movie theatre. And then all the more serious things – graduation, prom, working together…

By the time we were finishing dessert my head was swimming with memories and alcohol. While we had spoken, Mike had ensured our glasses were always full and we kept clanging them together as we remembered another hysterical tale.

"Oh, Bella," Mike sighed after an especially hard laughing session. "You always did make me laugh."

"Yeah," I agreed with a giggle. "It wasn't too hard – you are a blond!"

And that set us off again, cackling until I clutched my sides in pain. My joke wasn't even funny but I hadn't had so much fun in forever with looking after Nessie and everything. Tonight had just been about relaxing and the copious amounts of wine had really helped.

A waiter interrupted us with a small cough and set the bill down on the table. I straightened up and glanced around to notice we were the only people left in the restaurant. Well _that's_ embarrassing!

Mike grabbed the receipt and reached for his wallet.

"Halvsies?" I offered, bending to reach my own bag.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella. I've got this," Mike insisted.

"Really? It only seems fair…"

"Mrs Black, put your money away!"

I grinned widely at him and dropped my purse. Mike finished paying and waiter returned our coats. Part of me was embarrassed we were the last to leave; the drunk part of me just didn't care.

I stumbled as I stood and Mike caught me in his arms.

"Oh dear!" I announced in a sing song voice. Mike set me back on my feet and we both started laughing again. Once I had recovered I slipped on my jacket and we headed for the door. Halfway, I spun back round to face the impatient waiter and blew him a kiss with a wink. I shrieked with delight as he blushed - I wondered what he would do if I _really_ kissed him…

"Bella, move your ass!" Mike instructed from the door way and I skipped over to him. He patted me gently on the bum, forcing me out the door.

The cold air hit me and I shivered briefly but the wine kept off most the chill. I was grateful then that my sober self had thought to bring a jacket out tonight. Mike and I walked in silence for a while when I suddenly slapped my hand to my forehead.

"What's up?"

"I'm meant to be _driving_ home!" I complained as I slurred my words together.

"Uh-oh."

"Yup, not gonna happen."

As if to prove this point, I tripped over my own foot and landed on the pavement with a bump. I began to laugh at my perpetual clumsiness. For some reason everything tonight was hilarious to me. I blame the wine. I blame Mike. He was funny.

Mike was laughing to and came and sat beside me. Obviously he didn't care how dirty the sidewalk was in his tipsy state. He grabbed a stray piece of hair and twisted it back behind my ear.

"How about we walk to my place and I'll call you a cab?" he offered very sensibly for someone who had downed nearly two bottles of wine tonight.

"Sounds good," I agreed and we helped each other up before staggering along to road arm in arm as only the best drunks can do.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Gotta love drunk, Bella! Check back next chapter for... well, you'll just have to wait and see! Hope you enjoyed and all... drop a note - I may just send you love back... ;)**

**Mel x**


	5. Chapter 5: Wrong Move

**A/N: Welcome back, dear readers, I hope you are all good and well. Please enjoy la chapter and see YOU at the end! This one was a toughy to write and I'm not sure I'm totally happy with the tone, but I have to let it go. P.s: SORRY**

**Chapter Five: Wrong Move**

Mike lived in one of those tall thin townhouses that looked years old. It was red brick with pale key stones that gave the facade a kind of unspoken grandeur.

Inside it was just as stately. The main entrance room was a long sitting room, carpeted with a forest green and surrounded by muted grey walls. You could definitely see Forks in this room. I guess I wasn't the only one who had been so dramatically affected by it. In the centre of the room was an emerald velvet sofa which Mike and I were now both nestled on with a cup of coffee each.

The evening had turned more subdued and relaxed with both of use content merely with the other's company. I watched the bright flames of the driftwood fire Mike had built and sipped my coffee quietly.

"So, have you heard from Tyler since..." Mike asked suddenly.

"Nope, not a bell," I replied with a sigh. It really was a shame. Tyler had been the first persom I had ever loved and now we didn't even talk. I didn't even know where he lived. It made me a little sad to think of where it all went wrong.

"He was so stupid," Mike suddenly spat. I turned my head to look at him. He shook his head and reached forward to take my hand. "You're the most amazing thing ever, Bella, you didn't deserve that."

I squeezed Mike's hand quickly.

"Thanks. But it doesn't matter anymore. I have Jacob."

I removed my hand from his and twisted my mouth, suddenly uncomfortable in his gaze. After a moment he looked away to the fire.

"And I have Jessica."

We lapsed into silence for a few minutes when I felt my eyelids begin to droop. I was exhausted. What was the time? Past midnight – I knew that for sure. The alcohol that still clouded my mind made me feel extra sleepy and I stretched along the length of the sofa to rest on Mike's shoulder. I felt the heat rolling off him and shivered slightly at the feel of him beneath my head.

After a moment he slipped his arm around my shoulder and I heard him yawn too.

"Really should call you that cab soon," he said and I mumbled in agreement. I didn't want to leave just yet. I felt comfortable resting against Mike's hard body. So I lay still for another minute before I begrudgingly went to sit up. But, Mike wouldn't let me. He just curled his arm tighter around my body keeping me securely by his side. I twisted in his arms to tell him to cut it out but was pulled up short by how close we were. We were pretty much nose-to-nose and I could feel his soft breath on my skin.

I stopped moving and stayed frozen to the spot, shocked by our sudden closeness. I should have just pulled away and laughed it off. But I didn't. I just stared and stared at the beautiful man in front of me. Then, very slowly, Mike dipped his face to mine and kissed me.

As soon as his lips touched mine alarm bells set off in my head, ringing and whirring, telling me this was wrong. But as Mike reached up to cup my cheek I tried desperately to shut them off. Because, although I knew this was wrong, I couldn't stop. Something about the way Mike's hand skimmed up my thigh spurred me on. I wanted him. My mind flashed back to the night of the reunion. I had wanted him then too. I had blamed Nessie but now I knew I was wrong. It was just him.

After a while, Mike broke away and got up from the sofa. He held his hand out to me. I had a choice now – take his hand or call that God forsaken cab. I knew which one I should choose but whether I wanted it was an entirely different decision.

I put my hand in his and he pulled me up from the sofa. He led me to his bedroom and laid me on the bed. He gripped my body to his, now frenzied in his advance. I naturally responded by tugging hungrily at his clothes while pulling mine off at the same time. He pressed into me hurriedly, so forcefully it almost took my breath away. This was not the deep, meaningful sex of two people in love. This was the nasty, chaste kind of sex that let out inner monsters out to play. Mike heaved above me and grunted at the effort. I squeezed him slightly with my pelvis and he smirked at me ruefully.

He thrust into me again and I moaned suddenly. His movements were animalistic and rough and so, so intense. It felt like he was going to smash right through my pelvis and I dug my fingernails into his back as the sensation reached eye-popping heights.

I panted desperately, feeling the beast in me getting ready to spring. I couldn't risk thinking of what I was doing right now or I would fall apart. I had had my chance to think about what I was doing. Now was the time to... reap the rewards.

Mike continued to glide in and out of me with his sturdy thrusts and he leant his head down to my neck wantonly. I felt him suck at the soft skin there, tugging it between his lips to leave a mark. Okay, whatever floats your boat, Blondie... However juvenile his action was it still made me sigh a little in between my already breathy pants. This was new – exciting – each movement made my body react in different ways to what I was used to. It was fascinating and interesting and... and just _delicious_.

Mike pulled away from my neck then to watch my face, his blue eyes dancing excitedly. I briefly wondered how I would hide his hickey from Jacob but a particularly powerful thrust from Mike scattered my thoughts. One more move like that and I would be there.

As though Mike had just read my thoughts, he ploughed right into me, touching the deepest part of me with the warm tip of him. A throaty scream ripped from my lips and I arched my back into him. He grabbed hold of my waist with his rough hands held me to him as I continued to quake with pleasure. In this new position I was pressed firmly against the length of him and my body shook with euphoria for longer than I thought possible because of it.

Mike grunted loudly and exhaled heavily just as I was finishing and let me lay gently back on the bed. I felt breathless, my mind well and truly fucked along with the rest of my body. The ceiling above me danced as Mike twisted so he could lie beside me on the bed. He scooped an arm around me and trailed the edge of his other hand over my ribcage.

I counted his heavy pants and began to match my own breaths to his as our heart rates slowed. We stayed in silence for a few minutes until the room was silent and calm. The exhaustion I had felt earlier hit me again with full force and I stifled a yawn as I rolled in Mike's arms to look at the clock on his side table. It was almost two. I swear to God, if Nessie was still up when... Nessie.

I sat up like a bolt when I thought of her name. Jeesh, how could I be so _stupid_? I pulled away from Mike to get up from the bed and he sat up in protest. Not that I gave a damn. He was suddenly the devil in my eyes. Not that I was religious in the slightest but that was beside the point. Because of him I had betrayed the two most precious things in my life.

I swooped down to pick up my panties from where they lay by the bed. Panic and guilt made my movements more clumsy than usual and I stumbled as I jabbed my feet through the holes.

"Bella, are you okay?" Mike asked as he watched me stumble about. Bet I didn't seem so appealing now – naked and flailing helplessly.

"No, I'm fucking not!" I gave up and balled the wretched panties up in my hand. Who needed underwear anyway? "Do you have any idea what this means?"

I stalked off the other side of the room where I saw my dress hanging off the dresser.

"Bella, relax – there's nothing to worry about," Mike soothed as I hurriedly pulled the black fabric over my head. He knelt up on the bed and half-crawled toward me. Naked. Just, you know, _there_ for me to see. I busied myself looked for my necklace in an attempt to avert my gaze. "Don't leave, please. Stop over-reacting!"

It took all my effort not to scream at him. I relaxed and spun on my heels to stare at him incredulously. Over-reacting? Did the fact I was _married_ not matter in the slightest to him? Obviously not for he had yet to think of his fiancé yet apparently. I hung my head defeated.

"I'm sorry, Mike, but that was wrong. You're my client – I've got to be professional."

He nodded in understanding at my lame excuse. Right now I couldn't bear to say Jacob or Nessie's name without dying of shame. Mike crawled off the bed and came to stand in front of me.

"Its okay, Bella. You have other... duties. That was... nothing."

He was right. It really was nothing. I felt nothing for this man in front of me, only disgust at myself. I nodded at him quickly, acknowledging his words.

"I need to go."

"That's understandable."

Without another word I went for the door, leaving Mike standing by the bed alone. I made it half way to the front door before I stopped as I heard a noise behind me.

"Bella?" I turned to see Mike at the top of the stairs, my bra hanging from his fingers. I felt myself blush as I stumbled up the stairs and snatched it from his hands.

"Thanks," I mumbled before storming off again. Fucking bastard with that stupid amused smirk on his face. I was seething that he found my flustered state so funny. I stuffed my bra and panties into my handbag which I grabbed off the sofa, muttering angrily under my breath about my own foolishness. Then, I stomped across the lounge and out onto the street.

I slammed the front door for good measure. Ha, good riddance!

**XXX**

I felt so awful.

In the end I had driven home, all alcohol shocked out of my system from what I had done. The journey home had been long and filled with tough questions and a lot of anger and shame.

Why had I done that? That was easy. I refused to blame the wine so I looked for other reasons. I was a mother now – I was no longer the sexy, entrancing twenty something I had been a couple of years ago. I was a 'proper' adult now and lived accordingly. But with Mike... it's like he still saw the twenty year old, still saw the curves, the eyes, the lips. I was Bella Swan again with him – that's why it had been so easy to throw my caution to the wind.

But that brought up a load more questions. What did that say about my relationship with Jake? I still loved him more than my life – I knew that for sure – but it shouldn't have been so easy to forget about him tonight.

Was I alright with the fact I was just a mom now? I had wanted a baby for as long as I could remember but now I had Nessie I no longer felt like me. I was Momma not Bella. I felt shrouded by the mundane title that had once excited me.

And the hardest, most difficult question – do I tell Jake? My head would instantly scream no at me as I numbly turned the steering wheel once more but my heart had its say too.

If I told him maybe I could fix the problem I had – become me again. I had promised never to keep anything from him on our wedding day and now nothing had changed. Had it? I didn't know. The worst thing I could think of was Jacob leaving me. I didn't know what I would do if he walked away. He was my reason for existing.

I pulled up to the house with my head no clearer. The downstairs lights were still on and I realised dismally that it meant Jake was still awake and I would have to face him. With a sigh I got out of the car and reached for my keys. I just wanted to be able to get in the shower and wash off Mike's touch before going to sleep. I would think about what I would do tomorrow. But, no, now I had to talk to Jacob, pretend I was okay.

As I turned the key in the lock to let myself in I realised it was never going to work. I was a terrible liar and he knew me better than anyone. What would I do then? The guilt was already too much to bear.

I hung up my jacket and sucked in a breath. It was now or never. I could hear the television from here and forced myself to move. It was time to face the music. You're up to bat, kid...

I walked into the front room stiffly, tensed up with panic. If I could make it through this I knew I could get my head around tomorrow. Just ten, fifteen minutes of apparent calmness before I had time to work out what to do.

But I had no need to be so worried at all. As I came into the room I looked around to find Jacob. He was lying asleep in the recliner with a tiny Nessie tucked up on his chest. They must have fallen asleep while watching television together. He was forever breaking the rules – I distinctly remember telling him no television.

Nessie shifted in his arms and I tensed up again for a short second as I thought she was going to wake up. But Jacob subconsciously squeezed her gently in his arms and she sighed and lay still once more. My beautiful family. What had I done to them?

Hot, angry tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks as I was slapped around the face with my own stupidity. All I lived for was in this room and I had potentially destroyed it all. I gasped in a small breath and walked over to the sofa to retrieve the blanket from the back of it. I couldn't believe I had betrayed them so readily. I had been so eager, so unwilling to think of the consequences that now the guilt was ripping me in two. I draped the soft blanket over the two sleeping bodies and wonder if they would ever forgive me if they knew.

More tears sprung to my eyes and I turned to walk away from the seat. I knew my decision then. I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand and sucked in a calming breath. I crossed the room and walked out of the door leaving my family asleep. I wouldn't wake them now and tell them how I'd failed them. I had no desire to sabotage myself and poison them too.

My plan was simple but the words resonated in my head loudly. Words that would follow me for the rest of my life, for the sake of my family.

He must never know.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: *GASP* WHAT HAS SHE _DONE_? Tut, tut, tut... If you've got an opinion, put i' daown! Is Bella right, wrong, a little bit of a whore...? ;) I know some chicks at Twilighted got a little freaked out at this chappie... *giggle***

**Laters!**

**Mel x**


	6. Chapter 6: Time to Tell

**A/N: Welcome back, loves! Another chapter, dum de dum... Oh right! Bella slept with Mike last time. _That_ should be interesting...**

**Chapter Six: Time to Tell **

"So? How's that lump you call a husband?"

I stared down at my bowl of soup, uncomfortable with the sudden shift in conversation. We had successfully avoided the subject of men for a good forty-five minutes but I knew it would come around eventually. Now, in fact.

"Hmm, yeah... yeah, he's good," I nodded quickly and risked a quick glance at Emily. Her face was gentle and open – she asked out of interest, not trying to rat me out. I licked my lips nervously. Since when had I been reduced to this paranoid wreck? Oh yeah, since I cheated on my husband.

"You don't sound entirely convinced," she teased gently.

"Oh, you know, with the garage and everything I hardly get to see him anymore." I could hear the lie in my voice. My tone was just slightly off – too high pitched, too clipped. But Emily just laughed.

"I totally know how you feel. Sam's always running around with an errands list as long as his arm. I can't complain though – the extra money from overtime is always welcome."

"Wish I had someone not to see," Leah chipped in glumly.

"Oh, sweetie, it'll be your time soon!" Emily soothed on cue.

I felt myself relax back into my seat as the conversation steered away from my marriage. I was under an enormous amount of pressure trying to deal with the guilt while keeping Jacob in the dark. I still stuck vehemently to my decision that he should never know. It was just better that way.

I picked my spoon back up and dipped it in my soup. I don't know why I did – I wasn't hungry. I hadn't been hungry at all for the past week. I merely ate to keep up the facade. The facade I knew Jacob saw straight through. I saw him watching me, trying to figure out what was wrong. It was just a glance, here and there, and then he would look away, a perplexed look on his face. Then, at night in bed, he would gather his arms around me and just _hold me_, letting me know he would be there to listen whenever I was ready to talk. But I would never be ready. How could he face me again if he knew?

That was the thing that killed me. I just couldn't tell Jake because of the repercussions but I had to tell _somebody_. I was going mad keeping it to myself. I could feel it inside – the shame ripping my mind apart. I had thought about telling Esme but couldn't bear her to be disappointed in me. But I had to get it out. Somehow I had to...

"Don't you agree, Bella?" Emily interrupted.

"Sorry, what?"

"That Leah should ask the waiter for his number. He's pretty cute and she's just got to put-"

"I slept with Mike."

The words tumbled out of my mouth at their own accord. My guilt had found its voice now at last, right here in a busy restaurant – great.

"Excuse me?" Leah exclaimed, her eyebrows raised.

"He's a client – no, a friend... from school and last week..." I began, panicking now that I had let it slip.

"Wait, wait, wait. Calm down, honey," Emily grabbed my hand across the table and stroked it with her thumb. "What are you talking about?"

I stared at my two best friends in bewilderment. My mind had gone ballistic – my thoughts scattered everywhere in frenzy. I could trust them. They had been my bridesmaids for goodness sake! But, they were strictly related to Jake not me...

"You can tell us."

I blinked several times. Of course I could. If I couldn't tell them who could I talk to? No one. It had to be them and it had to be now. Part of me felt relieved to know I could finally get it out there and push the overwhelming emotions away from me for just a short moment. I took a deep breath quietly before slowly beginning.

"I knew Mike from school and he just happened to become my client at work. We went out for dinner to discuss the project but his fiancé wasn't there, I foolishly got drunk and we ended up in bed."

I felt myself getting calmer just by saying it out loud. It felt _so_ _good_ just to say it. Not have to worry endlessly and try to hide my feelings. I felt a hundred pounds lighter, numb to the part of my brain that was screaming at me to shut up.

Leah and Emily stared at me in silence for a good ten seconds so I nodded my head meekly to let them know I had nothing left to say. I could tell I was blushing under their shocked gaze.

"Wow…" Emily breathed so quietly I almost didn't hear her.

"It was so stupid and now I feel so guilty," I began again when neither of them spoke. "It's tearing me up. What am I supposed to do?"

"Okay," Emily snapped out of her trance and switched to business mode. As the owner of a busy bakery she knew how to be logical and when to stay calm. I loved her right now. "Have you seen Mike since?"

"No, I asked Esme to transfer the project to someone else immediately," I replied.

"Good. Did you tell her why?"

"Good Lord, no!"

"Well, at least that one's sorted," she murmured. I looked to Leah then noticing she still hadn't said a word. She was just staring at me but it was not shock in her eyes anymore, it was livid anger. I felt my eyes widen in surprise. I hadn't expected her to react quite like that.

"Leah…"

She looked away from me then to her lap. I blinked several times trying to figure out what I could say to her. Jake and her were like brother and sister; she must be feeling so betrayed right now.

"Are you going to tell Jake?" Emily's voice broke my gaze on Leah. I shook my head quickly.

"I can't."

It was silent for a moment.

"I think you should," Leah said in clipped tones still watching her lap.

"Leah, no, I'm sorry but-" I gushed, only to be interrupted by Emily.

"Leah's right, Bell. He deserves to know. Sure, he'll be upset but you two were made for each other. You gotta work through this."

"But what if he leaves me?"

"He should."

"Shut up, Leah – you're not helping," Emily scolded. "He won't leave you, Bella. He loves Nessie too much. He loves _you_ too much. But you have to be truthful with him."

The angst in her eyes was plain to see. She meant every word. But what could I do? Just mince on up to Jacob and be like 'Yeah, you remember Mike? Totally nailed him!' It didn't work like that. I would never be able to find the words. Emily must have seen the worry on my face as she reached over to touch my arm softly.

"Trust me, Bella. It will only get worse."

I nodded and picked up my spoon. Jacob had already questioned me about the hickey on my neck. I thought the game was up then. I lied – terribly – and told him I had caught myself on the curling tongs. I prayed he believed me…

"You're right," I agreed, stirring my half-cold soup. "You're totally right. I've got to tell him. When?"

"Tonight."

I tilted my head back and fought the sudden tears.

"No, no, no! I can't. I just can't, Emily!" I wailed quietly.

"Yes, you can!" she insisted. "Tell her, Leah!"

Leah's stony gaze met mine and I saw her top lip curl back minutely.

"Sure," she agreed. "A bitch like you deserves to get what's coming for her."

I felt myself flinch from the malice in her words. Emily furrowed her brow in annoyance.

"Leah, what's up with you?" she asked. Leah turned in her seat to face her.

"She cheated on Jake, Em! Why are you acting as though everything's okay?"

"She's our friend. She needs our help," Emily counteracted with a clipped voice. I saw her nostrils flare as she breathed in, angered by Leah's behaviour.

"Well, I won't give her mine," Leah cast a brief glance over me. "I'm sorry, Bella, but Jacob's like family to me. I can't watch you hurt him."

And with that she got up from the table, her hand skimming through her short hair and walked away from the table. I watched her disappearing figure in belief. My best friend had just walked out on me. Imagine what Jake would do...

Hot tears pricked at my eyes and I instant grabbed a napkin to dab away the water. I hated crying in public. It draws too much attention to you – everyone wanting to know if you're okay when you really just want to be able to disappear. Emily squeezed lightly on my arm and I heard her sigh at Leah's abandonment.

"We'll work it out, hun, don't you worry. Leah will come round and so will Jake. I swear to you you can do this."

I looked at her with watery eyes and smiled pathetically. She was right. I just had to tell him. It had been stupid to think I should keep it from him. Our whole marriage was based on trust and he deserved it now. I loved him too much to lie to him. All I had to do was pray he would stay with me...

I was sat on the sofa, my hands fisted in the material of my skirt like a six year old. They were cold and clammy as was the rest of my body as I sweated nervously. I doubted my sanity for allowing myself to be convinced by Emily to tell Jacob, especially with what happened with Leah... I felt more moisture spread across my forehead as I worried for the millionth time whether Leah had already told him and my world had already ended. She couldn't have. She just wasn't like that. But, then again, her parting words...

I shook my head. It didn't matter right now. I knew she would never do that to me, no matter how angry she was. I had to forget about it and focus on the more important things. Like the fact Jacob was due home in approximately five minutes and I planned to tell him everything. Not that I wanted to. I had spent the whole afternoon with Emily talking through my choices and every time it came back to telling the truth. There had been no way around it – I had to come clean or risk losing everything.

I had tucked Nessie up in bed about an hour ago and I had been a nervous wreck ever since. I knew what I was going to say – Emily and I had planned it down to a T – but I couldn't envisage actually saying them. How would I be able to force those damn words out of my mouth?

I froze then as I heard the car pull up outside. Jake was home. My breathing turned into quick, short gasps and I thought I was going to faint. Why did I think I could do this? It was stupid. He didn't need to know. It wasn't _necessary._ Shut up, Isabella, it was.

The door in the hall open and I forced myself to jump up and face the door.

"Bella?" Jake called out to the darkened house.

"I'm in here," I replied reluctantly. I hope he wouldn't see the guilt in my eyes in the dim room. I only had the side table lamp on and I prayed I would be able to explain before he flipped out – which I was sure he would do. He came round the corner then a small smile on his lips and his pullover in his hand.

"Why's it so dark in here?" he laughed as he made his way over to me. He took me in his arms and pulled me against his chest. I didn't know what to say so I just shook my head and shrugged. At this small gesture he froze and pushed me away slightly to look into my eyes. I looked away, ashamedly unable to meet his gaze.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked, suddenly wary. He glanced around the room as though there was some danger in here. Maybe there was. It was the bomb I was about to drop. I licked my lips and forced myself to look at him.

"Maybe we should sit down."

I shimmied out of his embrace and led him to the sofa by the arm. As we sat he raised an eyebrow at me in confusion.

"Okay?"

It was silent for a moment as I prepared myself. I ran over my script in my head once more. It sounded ridiculous now. No matter what I said it didn't change what I had done. So, I would just say what I felt – which was a difficult thing to do at the minute.

"There's something I need to tell you," I started, reaching out to take his hand. Being in contact with him made me feel instantly calmer, as though just his touch could influence my body. When I paused again he filled the silence.

"Okay," he repeated again. I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't find the words. I didn't know where to start. I didn't want to say what I thought I was going to. I was about to hit my marriage with a ton weight – I couldn't just say anything. After a moment, Jake's face twisted in annoyance and he squeezed the hand I still held slightly. "What is it?"

I took a deep breath. I _had_ to do this. I closed my eyes so I didn't have to see him as I dealt the blow and let it all out.

"Last week, when I went out with Mike, I did something terrible. I've been torn up with guilt for the past week and I can't keep it from you anymore. You deserve to know and I deserve to be punished. I'm so sorry for what I've done but please just remember I love you so much I can't even begin to tell you."

I felt Jacob's hand twitch in mine and I looked sharply to his face. His eyes were guarded and he had turned slightly from me.

"Bella, what are you trying to say?" he asked slowly, I clenched my jaw and nodded once, building up all the courage I owned.

"I slept with Mike."

The room was eerily quiet after the words left my mouth. We were both frozen in place, waiting for the other to do something. Jake's face showed no emotion but I saw his Adam's apples bob as he swallowed once. After a minute of nothing I slumped forward slightly and pulled his hand close to me.

"Listen, Jake," I began. "I know this is a shock and I know I'm in the wrong but I want-"

"In the wrong?" he suddenly spluttered. "You're damn right you're in the wrong!"

He stared at me with his suddenly furious eyes and I inched my hand from his. I was scared of him now, watching the way his jaw tightened and his free kept clenching and re-clenching into a fist. I wanted to speak and tell him to calm down but I didn't think I should. I would just make him angrier. After a moment he spoke.

"Did you not, you know, think beforehand, like, I have a husband? And a baby? Nothing?" he paused for a moment and I stayed silent. "Come on, Bella, speak. You wanted to _talk_. Well, talk!"

He jumped up from the seat and stared down at me, his extra height making his actions even more belittling. I was suddenly angry. How dare he be so patronising? I wanted to discuss this with him like adults and he was just mocking me! I stood too so I could face him and twisted my mouth in rage.

"Just stop being so _ridiculous_, Jake!" I spat through my teeth. "Just calm down and we'll sort this out. Please? I love you, Jacob; I don't want to hurt you..."

He barked a laugh at that and looked away from me.

"It's a bit too late to think about hurting me..." he took a quick breath in after spoke. He was physically shaking with fury now, his body vibrating slightly while I watched. I walked forward and put a hand to his cheek, forcing him to look at me. His brown eyes were rimmed with tears and he swallowed hard when I bit my lip at the sight. He reached up slowly and put his hand on mine. His skin was hot and he trembled slightly against me. Then, he tightened his fingers around mine and lowered both our hands from his face.

"Don't touch me, Bella," he whispered feverishly. "I don't want you touching me!"

He screamed the last two words so loudly I actually took a step away from him. I fell back into the seat and stared up at him as his whole composure changed. He hunched over and pressed his hands against his forehead. I took a shallow breath in, wondering what he was going to do. Part of me took a moment to rejoice that he hadn't just left me. Yet.

Jacob suddenly dropped his arms and started towards me.

"You're a bitch!" he yelled. "You're a fucking bitch! You fucking..."

He trailed off and suddenly lunged at me, his flat eyes murderous. I leapt out the way, pressing myself to the arms of the sofa. Jacob had never reacted violently to me before – I was downright petrified. Realising he had missed me, Jake swung round to find me.

"Jacob!" I screeched, pushing my hands forward to try and defend myself. He grabbed my out stretched arms and began to shake me. "Nessie's upstairs!" I tried to yell as the world moved around me. Abruptly, the shaking stopped and I was plonked back down on the seat. My hand flew to my head, trying to keep myself upright. My head was throbbing and everything still spun around me. Through shaky eyes I saw Jacob retreating and I tried to sit up. His strong hands caught me and steadied me before he moved away again.

"You're right," he said calmly. "I mustn't wake her."

After a moment of dithering on the other side of the room he strode forward and came to sit beside me. I instinctively moved towards him and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Bella, don't think this means I forgive you," he began and I froze. He looked straight down at the floor and continued with no expression in his voice. "You can carry on living here but I expect you to be gone by the end of next week. We will not discuss this; there is no room for negotiation. Maybe in time things will change but, for now, this is over."

Then, he got up smoothly from the sofa and left the room without looking back.

My world had ended.

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><p><strong>AN: Follow me on twitter Melanie18Carter or follow the Twigirls twigirlsnxtdoor, who I am blessed to be allowed to play with, for recs on some amazing fics written by much better writers than me. Those girls really do find some of the best in this fandom. Trust. ;)**

**Stick around folks**

**Mel x**


	7. Chapter 7: Please Mr Postman

**A/N: It's been a while since I updated but I have been catching up on my reading list this week! So many great recs I have collected, so little time...**

**Chapter 7: Please Mr Postman**

"If you can just take the crib upstairs? The nursery is on the left. Yes, up the stairs. No, not there – in the nursery!"

I plopped down the boxes on the counter and stormed towards the removal men. I stopped right beside the stoutest looking and raised my eyebrows at him in irritation.

"That," I said pointing to Nessie's bed. "Is a crib. Why in God's name are you trying to put it in the toilet?"

There was a moment's silence.

"Well, where'd you want us to put it?"

"Upstairs!"

I rolled my eyes at them and stalked off. I heard them chuckle to one another but I really didn't care. I had more important things to worry about today than their opinions of me. I picked up the two boxes I had deserted and headed for the kitchen. It had been just over a week since I had told Jake but it felt like a life time. Nessie and I had stayed at the house while I looked for a place to rent but it was all so wrong.

I placed the boxes on the side and ripped open the first one. Cutlery – great. Jacob had ignored me ever since he had walked away from me that night. He had moved into the spare room while I had cried myself to sleep every night. I hadn't realised I had started crying then too until I noticed my cheeks were wet. I wiped them hurriedly with the backs of my hands and focused on filling the cutlery drawer.

Jake had thrown an extortionate amount of money at finding me a new place. No house too expensive, he seemed to have pulled out all the stops trying to get rid of me. I stopped my hands from moving and put down the spoon I was holding. I couldn't do this now. I needed something else to focus on. As I turned to head back out to the truck Emily entered with Nessie in her arms.

"There Momma is!" she cooed at Nessie in a sing song voice. Nessie giggle and stretched her chubby arms out to me. I walked forward and lifted her from Emily's grasp to sit her on my hip. She instantly snuggled her head against my shoulder and slipped a tiny thumb in her mouth. Emily patted her back softly before turning to me.

"How you doing, hun?" she asked with a small smile. I gave her reassuring nod.

"Good. Good, just... very stressful," I told her.

"I can imagine," she agreed. "How was he?"

"He said goodbye to Nessie and asked if I had got everything but other than that, the same. Not a single word."

"He'll come round."

"No, he won't," I shook my head and leant against the work top. "We're getting a divorce."

Emily's face twisted in disbelief.

"You sure?"

"I believe we are, as many people say, at the point of no return," I shifted Nessie's weight to free one of my hands and began opening the other box.

"Oh, don't say that," Emily insisted, coming to my aid. I said nothing but focused on juggling Nessie, the box and imminent tears all at once. "You seem to be taking it all rather well."

I gave up on the box and turned to face her.

"Trust me, I'm not," my voice broke. "I've just had a lot of lonely hours to think about it."

Emily went to speak, concern written all over her face, when a fat, loutish removal man popped around the corner.

"Hey, lady, where'd you want these?" he asked. In his hands he waved two newspaper bound frames. They were my wedding photos – I remembered wrapping them yesterday.

"Oh, God!" I moaned loudly, throwing my head back.

"Uh, I'll take these," Emily darted forward and took the frames from the fool, who just slopped back off.

"We're gonna get through today," she promised, heading for the door. "And every day after."

God, I hoped she was right. Nessie got a little heavier in my arms and I bounced her gently.

"Hey, I hope you're not going to sleep there, Mrs," I scolded her playfully. "It's not time for a nap now."

After she ignored me I patted her bum gently and told her to come along. She raised her head to look at me, her brown eyes wide.

"Not sleepin'," she assured me.

"Sure, sure," I bit my own tongue as I copied one of Jacob's mannerisms. Nessie pouted at me calling her bluff, her little pink lips stuck out comically. I laughed at her and kissed her nose before moving back to the living room. I hadn't had all that much time to look for the 'perfect' house, so it was sort of the living room _and_ the dining room but I didn't mind. As long as it was clean, safe and practical for looking after Nessie it worked for me.

I placed her on the second hand couch I had found and pulled out a plush soft toy I had shoved in my pocket earlier for moments such as these. There had been no question that Nessie would be coming with me but it felt a little unfair to keep her from Jake. I would have to let him come visit her but as he was ignoring me it probably meant he was screening my calls too and I had no other way of getting hold of him.

It had occurred to me frequently how juvenile he was being about this whole thing and it made me slightly angry. Yes, I was heartbroken most of the time but when I thought of how much he was just acting like a _big kid_I was livid. It must just be something with his family as I hadn't heard from Leah since she walked out on me either, despite leaving countless messages on her machine to 'call me'.

I saved a box of china from the arms of the lout who had appeared in kitchen earlier and set it down on the kitchen table. Hopefully, they would be finished soon and I could start to get some order to the place. It shouldn't take me too long – I didn't have that much stuff as the majority of it was still Jacob's. I only had things I had been able to beg for or had time to buy, like pots and pans. I would have to save up to pad out the house – Nessie had her crib still but all I had was the mattress from my old bed in Forks, which Charlie had kindly strapped to the roof of the cruiser and brought over at the weekend.

He had given me the biggest hug when he saw me, such ostentatious shows of affection out of the norm for him. Because he didn't judge me. He didn't care what I had done. Sure, he loved Jacob as his own son but I was still his Bells and nothing would change that. As I moved back to the kitchen to find the cool bag full of Nessie's snacks I wondered if his tolerance had anything to do with Mom. He often joked that it was just because he was a famous ladies man but I knew he had had to recover from the only woman he had ever loved leaving him. He had learnt to forgive. It seemed Jacob had not.

I grabbed a bag of Potato Flyers and went back to Nessie. I guess I didn't want him to forgive me just yet though because I didn't want to forgive him. Hurt was a two way thing and he had dealt his own few blows over the last week, not forgetting the fact he had turned violent. I pulled open the packet and offered one of the chips inside to Nessie, who took it willingly, instantly forgetting the toy in her hands. I had woken early the day after and was horrified to find a band of bruises around the top of both arms where Jacob had grabbed me. The Jacob I knew would never use physical violence, especially against me.

I sat with Nessie while she finished her snack, watching the world move around me. The removal men weren't being very careful with my stuff and I thanked my lucky stars that not a lot of it was breakable. Emily stopped by after a few minutes to let me know they needed her at the bakery for some reason or another I couldn't care to remember and that she would be back that evening. Part of me was slightly angry at her for leaving but it saved me from just wallowing in misery at the thought of directing this whole renegade by myself.

I wondered how I had lasted so long. I scrunched the empty wrapper in my hand and stroked Nessie's hair with the other. It had been an emotional day and saying goodbye to Jake had been... well, it wasn't the easiest thing I had ever done. I felt totally worthless as I left Nessie with her toy again and headed upstairs. I had tried to apologise to Jacob time and time again but he studiously ignored me. It wasn't fair. I really was sorry for what I had done and I wanted Jacob to see that as much as possible but he wouldn't listen. I entered the bathroom when I heard him call.

"Um... hello?"

I dropped my head defeated and headed for the stairs. Why was it so difficult for the damn removal men to fucking function? You would never guess this was their job. It felt like I had hired monkeys not fully grown 'men'. I came down the stairs with my jaw set ready to scream bloody murder at the next dim-witted oaf who crossed my path, when I saw him knelt by Nessie tickling her stomach.

"Quil!" I called out brightly over Nessie's peals of laughter. He looked towards me instantly, a smile on his face that only ever appears when you've been playing with a small child. He murmured something to her softly before straightening up and coming to me. I still stood by the bottom of the stairs, half-pleased, half-wary to see my husband's best friend standing in my living room. My mind whirred a mile a minute trying to figure out what he wanted.

"It's a bit mental here, isn't it?" Quil joked as he approached me. I laughed joylessly and gave him a smile that didn't reach my eyes.

"Well, this is what happens when you're chucked out of your own home," I replied dryly. I wasn't being purposely cold. Don't get me wrong, I was so happy to see Quil's face in this madhouse it threatened to bring back the tears, but the worry that had planted itself in my gut at his visit made my mind go into auto-defend mode. Which was also known as unwelcoming bitch mode, apparently. Quil's brow puckered briefly as he winced at my words.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I shouldn't have-"

I forced myself out of Bitchy Bella and interrupted him.

"Don't be silly, just me being unnecessarily rude." He reached forward and touched my arm in comfort. "It's just easier to launch an offensive than let people take pity on me," I added that last bit quietly and he gave my shoulder a slight squeeze as I said it. Because it was true. I saw it when people asked me about why I was moving. Bitchy Bella was also very blasé and didn't pause once before telling someone how she had cheated on her husband. And then I would instantly regretting sharing it with them as they would all give me the same God damn look. They all looked _sorry_ for me, as though they suddenly understood the whole story and knew that I was some poor foolish woman who had got bored and was now all alone. Despite two thirds of that being true, it still angered me no end.

"I don't pity you, Bella," Quil reassured me as he removed his hand and reached for his back pocket. "In fact, I think you're incredibly brave for having the guts to tell Jake. I know I never would have done it. And that's why I feel slightly better that it's me that has to give you this."

He produced a medium sized brown envelope, which he had folded in his pocket and offered it to me. I took it timidly and saw it had been addressed to Jacob's house. Instantly, I flipped the envelope over and yanked open the glued flap. Pulling back the first sheet of paper inside, I saw the header of Jacob's lawyer and my heart fell out of my body.

"Oh."

"I'm so sorry," Quil murmured gently. I stared at the paper for a few more second before I shook my head to clear it and looked back at Quil. I plastered the most convincing smile on my face as I could muster and began.

"Don't be," I insisted. "I've been expecting this. Not as soon as this but... it's not a surprise."

I could feel my eyes prick as I tried to force my smile wider. Quil was watching me carefully so I just continued to grin at him like a fool. But I was doing the math in my head. This letter was dated two days ago. Give the secretary a day to compile all the necessary paperwork, a couple more days for the memo to actually reach her desk and a last fatal twenty-four hours for plans to be arranged and you had six days. Six days ago Jacob had filed for divorce. Six days. Meaning he had contacted his lawyer the morning after it had all come out. I suddenly felt very foolish for trying to tell him I was sorry for the past week.

"Do you want to sit down, or...?" Quil brought me back to the present and I realised I had been smiling at him in silence for way longer than necessary. I wiped the stupid grin from my lips and shook my head slightly.

"No, just letting it sink in," I informed him. "Sorry."

I folded the envelope and wedged it in the back pocket of my jeans. Out of sight, out of mind. For now. I ran a hand through my hair, just about to thank Quil for bringing it over when Nessie called out for me.

"Mommaaaaaaaaaa!"

I bustled past Quil without a thought or word and flew towards her small form. There were tears on her cheeks and her face had a soft pink blush covering it. I instantly bent to scoop her up in my arms and held her to my chest.

"What's wrong, pretty baby?" I cooed at her. She balled her hands into tiny fists and ground them against my collar bones as she pressed her face into my hair. "Nessie? What's the matter?"

I looked around. There was nothing here that could have hurt her, no one here who could have upset her. She was fed, she was dry, she shouldn't be tired. She was the embodiment of the word 'fine' apart from the salty tears in her eyes and her quick, hot breaths against my neck. I rubbed her back soothingly and she began to murmur against my skin.

"I wanted Daddy 'coz I knew he'd be here 'coz Quily is here but then he didn't come so I called again and and then I membered that Daddy said he weren't living with us no more so I got sad…"

Her little confession had me squeezing her tighter as my own tears gathered in my eyes. I had to get hold of Jacob somehow. His little girl needed him if nothing else.

"Quil," I looked at him to see him watching Nessie and my little exchange. "Could you let Jacob know Ness misses him and to call me, maybe, so she can see him?"

I disliked the thought of having to meet up with him so he could see our daughter but I had to make the precious bundle in my arms feel better.

"Sure," he agreed and sauntered over to us. "I'll tell him when I go over later. I'm sure he's missing her too." He reached out and stroked her still lowered head, "I should really go now – you need your space to get sorted."

"Okay, it was nice seeing you. Unexpected. And," was I really thankful for this? "Thank you for, you know… dropping my mail off."

He bit his lip quizzically and half-laughed.

"No problem. I'll… see you later."

Then he gave me a parting smile and started for the door. He paused for two removal men go ease my dresser through the entrance and then he was gone. I sighed and noticed Nessie's breathing had slowed right down. I craned my neck slightly to look at her face and, sure enough, she was fast asleep, her face still pink from crying. I smiled to myself at the sight of my sleeping beauty and remembered that her crib had already been placed upstairs.

I carried her carefully to her room and laid her down, tucking a fleece I found in a nearby box around her. I leant on the edge of the crib for a moment watching her and thought back to what she had said to me earlier. She realised that Jacob wasn't going to be around so much anymore and it upset her. I kicked myself for the millionth time at how selfish I had been. Not only had I ruined my relationship with Jake but I had fucked up her idea of a family. As she grew up it would always be Mom in one place, Dad in the other. She would never know the unity of two married people and would never have the support of a strong parenting team. And what would that mean for her?

I thought back to what I had said to Quil when he first arrived. I had been wrong to defend myself and try to act tough. I _did_ deserve those people's pity after all. I was just a pathetic, sorry girl who had mucked up big time. I finally stopped fighting the day long tears and let the salt water fill my eyes. Nessie shifted and yawned in her sleep as the first droplet fell and landed soundlessly on the bedding beside her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: At the moment, voting is open for the Fetlife at Twilight Contest. Make sure you search for 'Fetlife at Twilight' with that liiiiitle button up there. Yup, that one right there at the top of the page. Go on, click it - you know you want to. Or, in case you feel like stalling, leave a review! **

**Also, I would like to announce that in the next few weeks I am publishing a brand new fic called 'Run, Bella Swan' so make sure you look out for that! _Federal_ is a bit of a long term project and, you know what they say, variety is the spice of life.**

**Toodles!**

**Mel x**


	8. Chapter 8: The First Meeting

**A/N: HELLO!**

I'm finally back! I know this story was on hiatus for a little longer than planned, but now I'm full of steam! So, I'm not going to waffle... enjoy!

**Chapter 8: The First Meeting**

"Bella, everything is going to be fine. Relax."

I was sitting nervously with Emmett outside the meeting room. Today was the day Jacob and I officially announced our divorce– in the legal sense at least. Naturally, all our friends already knew, but I doubt any of them were too sure why. Jake and I had always been the couple that everyone expected to still be devoted to each other when we were ninety. They would never guess that in all honesty our relationship wasn't stable enough to withstand one stupid mistake. Not that I planned on clarifying that for them.

"Honestly, Bella, it will be fine!" I turned my head to Emmett and focused on the real world. Today was the day I never dreamed would happen, so it was difficult to believe I was really here. Jacob and I were getting divorced. Now. Well, sort of.

"What if it's not fine, Emmett? What if I mess up?" I challenged him.

"Why would you mess up?" he replied sympathetically. I admired Emmett for the faith he had in me. He was a friend of Esme's niece, Rose, and she had kindly given me his number. Esme had reacted to the divorce in a way I would never have expected from her. She wasn't disappointed with me or let down– if anything she was supportive. She didn't mother me either, which was another trait I expected from my maternal friend. No, Esme got angry. Not even a little ticked off. I mean _pissed_. I never expected anything like that from her timid character and, if I'm honest, it had scared me a little. I physically had to stop her from storming Jacob's house. Let's just say, I'm thankful Esme is my friend, not my enemy.

Emmett had instantly agreed to represent me after one phone call and a glowing recommendation from Esme, and hadn't judged me once. I guess part of that was his job. As a lawyer, he could hardly take sides. Especially when his party was the guilty one.

"I'm going to embarrass myself, I know it," I mumbled in reply to his question. As if on cue, I felt my cheeks heat up as I blushed.

"Bella, trust me. I've done this a lot more often than you, funnily enough. All we're doing is handing over your petition and child arrangement forms. Everything will be okay." I looked into Emmett's eyes. He really was the gentle giant. He was a hulk of a man– tall and broad –and yet not the least bit intimidating. He had wide eyes and a handsome face that never seemed to show irritation or anger. Well, not to me at least. Maybe things changed in the courtroom.

"Mrs Black?" The secretary approached me and Emmett with a clip board in hand. Something about the tone she used reminded me of something that seemed to have happened so long ago. My last doctor's appointment with Carlisle before Nessie was born. Jacob couldn't be there, and I remembered how disenchanted I had been. I also remembered how excited I had been at the prospect of having my own family soon. A family that was now laying in ruins at my feet. How times had changed.

"Yes, that's us," Emmett replied for me.

"You can go in now," she told him with a smile. I glanced at the hand on her clipboard. She was wearing an engagement ring. What was she doing working in the divorce courts? Was it some divine intervention rubbing this in even more?

"Thank you," Emmett dismissed her and Miss Bride-to-be tottered off in her heels. Hope she fell on her face.

"We're up, Bella," Emmett murmured as he stood. I forced my gaze off the secretary's retreating figure and nodded stiffly at him. Now was time to concentrate.

Emmett led the way towards the door across the room, and I glanced round quickly. I hadn't seen Jacob. Did that mean he wasn't here? We surely wouldn't start without him. So, he must have already sent in his petition. Or had he only sent representation, so he wouldn't have to face me? Any of the people waiting around here could be Jacob's attorney. I suddenly felt empty at the thought of not seeing Jacob. I had been through turmoil all morning worrying about this meeting and having to sit opposite him. Now he wasn't even here? All my energy disappeared. It just showed how much he cared.

Emmett paused at the door and turned to face me. He had his serious face on, and, if I hadn't already been living in hell for the past two months, I would easily be able to tell this was time for business.

"Half hour, Bella – I have every faith in you," he said simply. I tried a small smile to no effect, and he turned back to the door and pushed it open. Without hesitation he strode into the room as though he was the most important man in the world. An intimidation tactic no doubt. I'd let the little boys play their games if it meant I could get this over with faster.

"Good morning, gentlemen," he boomed as I scuttled in after him. I didn't know what I was expecting to find in there, but it wasn't this.

The meeting room was small with a large round table crammed in the middle. The florescent overhead lighting made me blink a couple of times as my eyes adjusted. Furthest away from me was the man, who I guessed was in charge, just by his sheer prowess. He had silver trim hair and sharp angular features that gave him a distinct powerful air. Oh yeah, he was The Man.

Then there was Jacob. He had been here all the time. I heard my breath hitch in my throat as I saw he was watching me, but I deflated again when I noticed his expression was blank. No reaction at all. Great.

Next to him sat one of the most handsome men I think I had ever seen. He had copper hair that screamed "I just got fucked" and a strong jaw line, which clenched slightly as he swallowed. He was Jacob's lawyer, no doubt. Shame- if it wasn't for 'conflict of interests' I would have sure shown my interest in him.

"McCarty," the angular man greeted Emmett in an unnervingly pleasant way. He turned his head to me. "I assume you are Mrs Black?"

"For now," I grumbled in reply. He smiled tightly at my reply and motioned for Emmett and me to sit. When we were settled the room grew silent before the man continued.

"Well, I think we should start now." No shit. "I am Keith Mann, and I'm Chief Attorney here. Today is only a preliminary meeting for you to officially apply for divorce and discuss initial child arrangements."

Wait, what? Discuss? I thought I would just hand the forms over, sign and leave. I was actually expected to _discuss_ with Jacob? I shot a glance at Emmett. I was not ready for this. What if he asked for Nessie? I hope not. I had assumed she would be staying with me, naturally. Couldn't everyone else just assume that too, and let me go home already?

"Now, I want to keep this short, but if either of you have any questions, please do ask them now." Mr Mann waited for either Jacob or me to speak. When we didn't he turned to our attorneys. "McCarty? Cullen?"

I expected a repeat of the previous silence but instead, Jacob's lawyer spoke up.

"Actually, I would like to propose a condition on behalf of my client before we submit our forms." I turned to glare at the unusually handsome lawyer. Didn't he know how this was killing me enough already? "I believe, and I have discussed it with Mr Black, that my client should be granted a greater share of the couple's assets due to the nature of this case, and its predicted outcome."

My mouth fell open with a small 'plop'. How heartless was Jacob? I took in the man with copper hair more carefully. I bet he had planted that seed. It probably meant he would be paid more at the end of the proceedings if he succeeded. I continued to watch him. I knew this God of a man would have to have some shortcomings, and I felt contempt bubble in my stomach.

With his rugged appearance, he didn't even look like he should be a professional attorney. I mean, where had Jake found him? He probably owed any success he had to his defined looks. He was like some floozy secretary, who was only at the boss' side because of the boob job she'd had last week. Watching him, I was suddenly glad Emmett was a man; otherwise he might have been charmed by Mr Cullen as easily as Jacob obviously had.

I found it hard to believe Jacob was the one who wanted more of our money. The idea was ridiculous. What would he do with it? I was the one looking after Nessie. I was the one who would have to buy new shoes and clothes and books and food. He had nothing like that. What would he spend the money on? More scrap metal more than likely, which he swore he could "fix right up".

"What are you talking about?" I blurted at the smart ass lawyer in front of me. "That's a moronic idea!"

"Bella, please," Emmett warned softly, and the man opposite me quirked an amused eyebrow at me.

"Are you saying you were not the one at fault?" he asked with a sloped smile on his lips. It was the kind of smile that would have made me giddy if my marriage wasn't at stake.

"I'm saying Jacob is not getting my money!" My fists were clenched, and I beat the top of the table with them.

"Mrs Black, if you do not calm down I will ask you to leave and let your attorney settle alone," Mr Mann told me sternly. I pursed my lips together but leaned back in my seat nonetheless to show my compliance. I stared at Jacob's attorney, and he stared back with that irritating smirk on his face.

"Thank you," Mr Mann continued. He gestured to Jackass. "Mr Cullen, please go on."

"As I was saying before I was interrupted." He shot another look at me. "It seems quite likely the divorce will follow normal negotiations on areas such as childcare, and, as a result, my client and I would ask for compensation. Mr Black feels this is only fair if the mother is to gain custody of the child."

"I hope you know you'll be paying it all back in child benefits," I scoffed.

"Mrs Black, I won't warn you again." Mr Mann shot me down. "McCarty, please control your client."

Emmett nodded once then turned his head to me and smiled reproachfully. I looked down at my lap. I was embarrassing myself and him. I had to voice my opinion though. It was just a shame I only knew how to do that with anger.

"Do any of you have anything further to say?" Mr Mann asked us all. Emmett murmured lowly, and the other side of the table remained silent, so I assumed it was a no too. "Okay then. I will take everything that has been said today into consideration when going over the forms and will see you again in a few weeks."

I looked up to see Mr Mann smiling thinly at all of us before gathering his papers and making his way from the room. After he left, the atmosphere of the room totally changed. Whereas before it had a professional business air, now it just felt awkward.

I sat there watching Jacob and his attorney in silence, and they stared back at us too. I realised as the seconds ticked by that Jacob hadn't said one single thing during the whole- albeit short –meeting. He had let that smug-faced lawyer do all the talking. He really was a coward.

As if to prove my point, he quickly averted his gaze when I caught him watching me. Him not being able to meet my eyes felt like the ultimate betrayal, and I blinked furiously as tears filled my eyes. I would not cry. I would not give Jacob or his attorney the satisfaction. I had the feeling my tears would amuse Jackass no end.

"Let's go," I muttered to Emmett, shifting my head to the side, so I broke my stare. There was no point in staying. I really wanted to get home to my daughter and try to forget about today.

I picked up my handbag and swung it over my shoulder as Emmett stood and leaned across the table to shake the other attorney's hand. I childishly rolled my eyes. Why should we show courtesy to him?

Once we were outside the meeting room, and Emmett had clicked the door shut behind us, I took a huge gulp of air and let a shaky sob escape my throat. That had been tough.

Emmett placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, and I said nothing as I rooted for a tissue in my bag. When I found one I dabbed my eyes cautiously with it. I had worn waterproof mascara today, just in case, but it didn't stop my eyeliner from running.

"Would you excuse me a moment, please?" I asked Emmett when the tissue came away black. "I need to go sort myself out."

"Of course," he replied with a small smile. "I'll be over by the reception desk."

I agreed to meet him in a few minutes and headed off the find the ladies room. It wasn't too hard to find once I had interrupted a busy-looking man to ask for directions, and I soon righted myself.

Once I had carefully washed my face, I left the toilet totally ready to get shot of this place. I rounded the corner back into the waiting area to see Jacob and his attorney exiting the meeting room. I hovered behind the wall not wanting to pass them.

Jacob said something to his attorney, who laughed, and they playfully bumped fists. Oh my _God_, were they for real? After a few more words the two turned and headed in the opposite direction to me.

Before they disappeared, the attorney glanced behind him to look right at me. He smiled an odd crooked smile, and I felt myself foolishly blush. Then they were gone, and I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

I headed off again to find Emmett. How had Jacob's lawyer known I was there? It must have been a coincidence. Or did he want me to see how chummy he was with my husband for some reason- to rattle me or something. If that was his motive, it had certainly worked. I felt confused at least, and with my fragile emotions it would be enough to make me snap.

I found Emmett where he said he would be, and he escorted me out of the building. We stood in silence for a moment before I forced myself to speak.

"Do you think Jacob will get his money?" I asked. Emmett sucked in a loud breath and shrugged his shoulders.

"Hard to say," he replied. "Cullen can be very persistent."

Ah yes, _Cullen_. I preferred Jackass. It suited him better.

"But you'll help me, right?" I couldn't have sounded more pathetic if I tried. Emmett's booming laugh only exacerbated the feeling.

"It's what you're paying me for," he joked. Then, much more seriously, he placed a hand on the top of my arm and looked me straight in the eye. "Don't worry about it. I've dealt with worse than Cullen. I will fight for you no matter what."

Emmett's words almost set me off crying again, so I quickly thanked him and said my goodbyes before I could embarrass myself once more. I walked slowly along the sidewalk, trying to let today's worries slide off of me. It was easier said than done.

I stopped where I was and willed this whole situation to go away. I closed my eyes and focused on the sounds around me. People going about their lives. It was almost comforting. Without anyone else around to talk to me, I could pretend the night with Mike never happened. My life had changed so dramatically that evening; it was difficult to believe the world carried on as normal.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes again. I blinked, and my gaze fell on a silver car parked across the street. Sitting in the driver's seat watching me with an unreadable expression was Jackass Cullen. He dropped his eyes where he saw me looking at him and shook his head once. Then he flicked the engine of the car on and pulled away at high speed, carefully avoiding looking at my section of the sidewalk.

I exhaled loudly as I watched his car race away from me and narrowed my eyes. Why did I get the feeling that smirk would appear in my dreams tonight?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Thank you for reading, and I hope you still enjoy this story enough to stick with me. I've already started on chapter nine, so hopefully that won't take too long.

It feels good to be back with this story - I missed this Bella more than I realised.

Mel x


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